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“No, really, Miss, we’re—”
“Let me help please, Victoria, I can’t leave you two to clean this up alone. I just need to drink some water first.”
Victoria nodded silently, and the irritated look the other girl had been giving me faded off her face as she turned back to her work. I managed to make it to the bar and find what looked like a clean glass. The tap water I guzzled felt great in my throat, but I had to take a moment and steady myself afterward. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to vomit and create more work for the poor maids.
When I joined them, they both seemed to understand that I didn’t particularly want to join in the conversation, and instead chatted around me about things like the shows they watched and the people in their lives. The names and characters were all foreign to me, but I didn’t mind, it just became background noise as I stuffed garbage into an empty bag.
It took what felt like an eternity for everything to get cleared up, and I promised to leave before they started washing the carpet and mopping the floors. By the time I stepped onto the spiral staircase that would take me down to the kitchen, my head was screaming at me to go back to the pleasant darkness of Hannah’s room. I refused to give in, and continued down the stairs, following the enticing scent of coffee. I almost sobbed when I saw the steaming mug waiting for me, with cream and sugar on the side for me to doctor it with.
“I knew you’d be up soon,” the chef, a man named Andrew, said. I thanked him profusely.
The coffee tasted amazing. It might just have been my hungover brain, but it felt like the warmth of it spread through my body, traveling to each of my fingertips and toes. I was drinking it black, which was unlike me, but it tasted perfect. I swigged the cup back, letting it chase away the cobwebs in my head and soothe the aching in my body. I took another cup gratefully, and nursed it this time, staring at the omelet Andrew left on a plate in front of me before disappearing. It looked exquisite, with pops of color from bell peppers scattered through the egg mix, but I wasn’t sure my stomach was quite up to it yet.
“I’ve been looking for you,” a voice said.
Julian poured a cup of coffee for himself and sat at the counter opposite me. He stared into its depths before reaching over to me to take the cream and sugar in front of me for himself. I was mildly disgusted at the four sugars he added but figured he must brush his teeth pretty well since they all shone pearly white.
“Yeah?” I muttered.
I hadn’t forgotten the kiss. Nothing could make me forget that kiss, the feeling of his skin under my hands, his lips on mine. The warmth from the coffee felt like a dimmed version of the flames he’d set alight in me, even through the haze of alcohol. I stared into the dark void of my coffee. I didn’t need to look him in the eyes to know what shade of blue they were. They shone bright with affection in my memory, contrasting the tone of the man in front of me. When I dared to glance up, he was also looking at his coffee, stirring it with a tense demeanor. I stared back into my own cup. I already knew I didn’t want to hear what he would say next.
“That can never,everhappen again.”
His voice was stern, and for whatever reason, it made tears pop into my eyes.
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a kid,” I grumbled.
His voice sounded irritated when he spoke again, and I pretended I didn’t see him in my periphery as tears fell into my coffee.
“Youarea kid, Evelyn. You are mydaughter’s best friend. You need to know that I felt nothing when you kissed me, and there is no chance of a future between us. What happened was completely inappropriate and will not have a repeat occurrence.”
“Understood,” I growled, getting to my feet.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“Home,” I said briskly, trying to hide the tremor in my voice. “It’s clear that I'm not wanted here.”
“You can’t go outside,” Julian said firmly, “You’re wearing pajamas and we had a cold snap, it’s maybe forty degrees! Not to mention the wind picking up!”
“I’ll wear my jacket,” I responded, and left the room without another word.
My feet carried me out of the kitchen and into the foyer, where I was happy to find someone had hung my coat up in the closet. I was glad I’d brought my phone with me, and pulled it out after I dragged on a pair of Hannah’s running shoes.
Had to leave—got that essay due on continuing frailty after treatment. Sorry, have your pajamas and sneaks, will return asap
I sent the text and wandered down the street. It was almost Halloween, and the trees were losing their leaves. The crunching sound under my feet was pleasant but hurt my head. I headed for the subway and was glad to find that the train would be coming soon. People were staring at me, so I played a game on my phone, ignoring the messages that popped up with adingevery so often.
I need help with that too!
You can keep the clothes, was going to get new sneakers anyway
Dad is in a mood, guess we partied too hard! Oops!
I gotta take a nap. I’ll text when I wake up.
I was glad she wasn’t fretting, but rolled my eyes at her saying I could keep the clothes. Hannah was forever trying to buy me things and give me things, but I always returned them with the same message: it made me uncomfortable to think that there’s a monetary value on our friendship. It was true, too. If she constantly gave me things, I’d feel obligated to give her something back, and I didn’t want any of that. I just wanted the friendship she gave me over the past year. More often than not, I would invite her to my place, rather than the other way around, because having people working around me while I did nothing made me feel useless.
The subway arrived, and I climbed on. This far into Manhattan, you usually didn’t see people out in their pajamas, but by the same token, the people who really would have judged me for it wouldn’t be taking the subway anyway. No one really seemed to care, and they left me alone. The subway was relatively empty, considering the time of day, and I spaced out the entire way, letting Julian’s words wash over me. When I reached Kips Bay, there were a few more bedraggled students and tired workers, but most of the people on the streets were prepared for a day of work. I was thankful I didn’t have class on Mondays and wondered how my classmates were faring.
