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My daughter looked up at me, and I saw the years stretched out between us. I saw myself peeking in on her painting her nails, and wanting to watch a movie with her, but going to a business meeting instead. I saw the endless dinners that we ate in silence, while I was waiting for her to talk. I saw the two of us, passing like ships in the night, living our lives parallel to each other.
“She would be?” Hannah asked, and I nodded emphatically.
“Ridiculously so.”
Hannah pulled away, and swiped at her face with the back of one hand.
“This doesn’t change things, you know,” she huffed, “I’m still mad. You’re dating my best friend.”
As much as her words sounded angry, they lost the frustrated venom that they’d had before, and I had to suppress a smile.
“Okay,” I said. “You let me know when you have the words to say exactly what you’re mad about, and I will listen. All ears.”
I wanted to stay, but I received a text from Tony saying they had arrived. Hannah followed me down to the foyer, where Evelyn was stood with a green bag with the words ‘patient belongings’ scrawled across the front.
“Oh, thank God, Han,” Evelyn said, looking like she wanted to move forward.
Hannah stayed by my side though, and I could see her tense in my periphery. Clearly, they’d need to have a long conversation. I hoped it would turn out alright, but I knew it would be more than a case of Evelyn telling Hannah how much she loved her.
Hannah turned on her heel and left. I heard the ding of the elevator, and then I was alone with Evelyn and Tony, who cleared his throat awkwardly and took his leave, nodding at me. Then there were two.
“You can sleep with me tonight,” I insisted, and Evelyn shook her head.
“I think it would be better for Hannah if I didn’t,” she responded quietly.
“I think it would be better for Hannah to have the floor to herself, and I know it would be better for my peace of mind to have you next to me.”
Evelyn acquiesced surprisingly easily, but I saw the bags under her eyes and the difficulty with which she swallowed. I wanted to heal her with a touch, but I couldn’t so all I did was walk forward, wrap my arms around her, and whisper quietly to her.
“We’ll get through this.”
“I hope so,” she replied.
Evelyn followed me to my room, and sat on the edge of the bed, looking a little upset about the situation. I helped her change, even though she didn’t really need it, and she slipped into a pair of my pajamas. The sleeves fell past her hands, and I had to roll up the pant legs so she didn’t trip, but eventually, with very little passing between us, we were tucked into bed. I pulled her into my chest, but the feeling of acceptance I hoped would come from telling Hannah the truth didn’t magically surface. Instead, I lay there in the dark, with my arm around Evelyn, wishing sleep would come, if only to escape the stress for a few hours.
“Are you awake?” Evelyn whispered.
“I am,” I answered.
“I’m scared.”
She turned to face me, and backed out of my arms to settle on a pillow near me, facing me.
“Why?” I asked.
“What if I can’t fix things between Hannah and I?” she fretted. “What if all this pain, me being attacked, wanting to be with you, all of it was for nothing? What if I should have just gone back to Portland when I got the chance?”
I gathered her back into me, and stared at a blank spot on the wall, only illuminated by the blue light coming from my alarm clock.
“You’re not going back to Portland, Evelyn. Not ever. I won’t stand for it.”
“But what if you don’t have a choice?”
“Utah, Evelyn. You spent two years in Utah trying to make enough money to get to the East coast. You managed it, so for you to go back to your father because of something as simple as a lack of communication? I won’t accept it.”
She kissed me then, deep and wanting. Instinctively, my hands wrapped around her waist as she slipped onto me. She ground her hips down to mine, and I had to still her, despite desire flaring in me.
“We should stop,” I hissed through my teeth, “You’re injured.”
