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I got an email from the humane society the next morning while I was sitting at my office computer. They said that they approved my application to adopt and that I could come in and look at the dogs as early as that afternoon if I wanted to. They still had to run a background check on me, but in the meantime, I could at least come to meet some of the dogs and decide which one I wanted to take home with me. I told them I would be there on my lunch break, then promptly stood up from my desk and went to go find Lily to share the good news with her and see if she’d like to join me on my trip to the pound.
As I approached her office, however, I heard that she was on the phone. Thinking it was a work call I almost walked away, but then I heard her say my name.
“Yeah, no, Michelle you were totally right,” she said. “I tried to walk away from him last night and it made David come running after me.”
I laughed softly to myself. She wasn’t wrong. If she’d taken her friend’s advice in an attempt to get me to chase after her, it worked. That wasn’t exactly the story she’d told me the night before, but the inconsistencies didn’t bother me so much when I heard what she said next.
“The sex?” she said, and I knew I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but I was just so damn curious that instead I took a step closer to the doorway and listened in. “It was amazing. It always is with him. We’re talkingmind-blowing.”
Mind-blowing?I mean, I knew I was good, but I didn’t know I was that good. She was pretty mind-blowing in bed herself, I hoped that she knew that.
“... Why do you think there’s a problem?” she asked.
Lily’s tone shifted a little, and I wondered what her friend had said exactly. “How do you know I wasn’t just calling you to tell you about my sex life. You were asking for details last time we talked, remember?” She was quiet as her friend said something else, then Lily sighed heavily and said, “Fine. You’re right. There is a problem. I have to end things with David.”
I straightened up, very surprised to hear this. I looked around to see if anyone was watching me snoop, but no one was nearby. I got even closer to the doorway, as close as I dared, and waited for her to explain further.
“It’s just not meant to be,” she said. “I have to be more careful, and there was a reason I said I wasn’t going to date anyone when I first moved here. We are in very different places in life too. He hates his job, and I love mine. I want to focus on nothing but my career, and I get the sense that he’s looking for other things to focus on like maybe a relationship or something. I’m just afraid if we keep this up, we’re both going to end up getting hurt. I just wanted him for sex. I don’t want to be David’s girlfriend or anything.”
That stung.
It wasn’t as if I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend any time soon. I wasn’t planning our future together—at least, not consciously. I’d had a few dreams about her and me being together, but that hardly counted. I had no control over what stories my unconscious mind made up. Still, even though I had planned on taking things slow, I realized then that Iwasplanning on things progressing between the two of us. I wanted her to be a part of my life, in more ways than just the sexual ones. I wanted her to go to the pound with me, and I wanted to get coffee together on Sunday mornings. I wanted to have lunch together in the middle of a tough workday, and I wanted to sneak her into a supply closet on a Friday afternoon, but just to kiss her, tell her she looked beautiful, and then send her on her way.
I wanted to be with her.
Really be with her.
And she wanted the exact opposite.
Feeling a lot of powerful emotions welling up inside of me, I decided it was best to walk away before I ended up causing a scene in the middle of the workday. I marched right back to my office and paced back and forth for a good fifteen minutes, trying to figure out exactly how I was going to handle this situation. Did I end things with her first so that I didn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt me? Or did I avoid her and let her cool off, maybe show her what she's missing and see if she changed her mind?
Either way, I knew I wasn’t ready to have this conversation with her that day, so I packed up my stuff and went to work from home for the rest of the morning before my appointment at the humane society.
On my way to the elevators, which were finally up and running again, I ran into my father. He made a beeline for me, and his face told me all I needed to know about how this conversation with him was going to go.
“David, we need to talk,” he said.
“Not now, Dad,” I said, putting a hand up and trying to walk past him.
“Yes,now. You missed dinner last night, which means I had to come all the way down here to tell you what I was hoping to discuss with you yesterday. The board is—”
“Dad,” I said, raising my voice. “I already told you,not now.I have to go.”
He frowned. “And where do you think you’re going? It’s not even 10 o'clock, you’ve got work to do.”
“I’m working from home this morning.”
He declared,“You most certainly are not. Working from home is a crock of shit. Nobody does any work when they are at home, that’s why I never hire people to do remote work.”
I was about to tell him about a study I read that showed people got more work done when they were allowed to clock in from home, but then I realized it wouldn’t matter whatsoever and instead decided to keep walking and finish this conversation another time.
“Dad, we can talk later. Right now, I’m leaving.”
“Don’t you walk away from me son, I am not finished talking to you.”
I pushed the button to call the elevator and then stood there standing with my arms folded, knowing full well that people were beginning to poke their heads out of their offices and cubicles to see what all the commotion was about.
