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But I couldn’t. My heart couldn’t just detach itself from his, no matter how much I tried to sever the connection. I stubbornly clung to the hope buried deep that he wasn’t lost from me completely. Oh, how I hoped that he wasn’t, for if Bolt’s confession had made one thing clear, it was how much I needed him, making it agonizing to forever be separated.
Chapter 16
It promised to be another tedious afternoon. Mother had insisted on another forced outing with Blaze and Trinity. Though quiet fury festered in my heart towards her over her betrayal. And though I wasn’t strong enough to defy her wishes, I still couldn’t lock away my resentment that once again she wanted to take things from me.
Just as she’d insisted on replacing Stardust with Stormy—a relationship that so far was a dismal failure considering I’d left him huddling beneath my bed, where he hadn’t emerged in days—now she wanted to replace Angel and Iris. But I refused to allow them to become my friends, not when I still yearned for my old friends even though deep down I knew they were gone forever.
Blaze and Trinity didn’t seem too pleased with the arrangement either, but Blaze obediently shrugged with feigned indifference and Trinity plastered a fake smile on her face that looked very much like Mother’s.
“Of course we’d love to have Eden accompany us.” She looped her arm around mine and jerked me to her side, all sweetness. “I’ve been wanting to spend more time with you.”
That was a definite lie, but I merely nodded as I was expected to. Mother stroked my hair, a gesture that now burned knowing what she’d done to me. I flinched away and her eyes narrowed, my reaction not lost on her.
She forced a tight smile. “I’m pleased Eden can make some new friends while I work on details for our plan.”
And that had been the beginning of the endless afternoon as I trailed after Blaze and Trinity like their shadow as they ventured from one shop to another, though as tedious as it was, it was a relief to be away from Mother and the haunting reminder of her betrayal.
As usual, Blaze and Trinity ignored me, their attention entirely eclipsed by one another. I watched their interactions closely—each smoldering look, their tendency to finish one another’s sentences, and sometimes communicating through mere looks, as if they understood one another at such a deep level that words were unnecessary. What would such a connection feel like? How I longed to experience it for myself.
“Let’s go to Pins and Needles,” Trinity suggested as we left Cavities candy shop. “I’m in need of more weaving supplies.”
Blaze naturally agreed with her, so Trinity returned her arm to its usual place looped through his and tugged him towards it before pausing to glance over her shoulder at me.
“Do you mind if we visit Pins and Needles?” she asked reluctantly, as if only just remembering I was there and that she was expected to include me. Nothing was more fun than being a charity project.
She pursed her lips at my shrug and exchanged a look with Blaze. Although she said nothing, he nodded in apparent agreement at what was likely a negative assessment about me. I sighed quietly. This was going terrifically so far.
A bell tinkled as we entered Pins and Needles. Trinity immediately led Blaze to the section of weaving threads while I wandered aimlessly, staring unseeing at the rows of supplies. Even though my newly acquired magical wealth allowed me to finally afford the pricier needles and threads that created unique dream effects, I no longer cared about improving my craft; I endured each Weaving, just like I endured everything else in the Nightmare Realm.
Instead I hovered at the end of a row and tortured myself by continuing to study Blaze and Trinity—each tender look, the natural way they leaned into one another, the way Blaze twirled a section of her orange-streaked black hair around his finger...jealousy bubbled in my stomach at that particular gesture as the memory of sitting with Darius at the flying colors returned, where he’d played with my own hair in the exact same way. I tried to shove it away but it refused to leave, haunting me with all I’d lost.
As if they sensed my swirling emotions, Blaze and Trinity glanced over, Blaze indifferently and Trinity with her invasive look that searched the emotions of my heart. To my surprise her manner softened, as if she empathized with my longings. With the almost pained way she glanced back at Blaze, I wondered if she was remembering the time when she couldn’t have him.
Her gaze returned to me, and after a silent debate she approached, Blaze following close behind. “Are you having fun, Eden?”
I shrugged. Answering was unnecessary when she’d already explored my heart and knew what I was truly feeling. An emotion that almost looked like sympathy filled her eyes. She hesitated a moment before offering me a smile that actually seemed sincere.
“I was hoping you could help me. As usual, Blaze is agreeing with everything I say, and I need an objective opinion—should I buy thefuzzy surrealthread or thecrisp and vividthread for my next weaving? Both would create interesting effects, but which ones would be the best to...Eden?Eden?”
I wasn’t listening to Trinity, I was staring at her hand, not the one holding up the threads for my inspection but the one intertwined with Blaze’s. They weren’t just holding hands, but playing with one another’s fingers.
The memory of the only time I’d held Darius’s hand bombarded me, one I wished I could experience again, as well as the single kiss we’d shared. At the time, it felt as if our partnership and our budding relationship would last forever, giving me ample time to explore it and allow it to deepen. But now it was gone.
As if thinking of him had caused him to answer the silent invitation of my heart, Darius suddenly entered the shop, and I thought I saw him glance in my direction before he began browsing the shelf of books of advanced weaving techniques. I frowned. Didn’t he feel the same pull towards me as I did him? He lightly traced the spines before tugging one out and opening it to peruse its contents. I couldn’t help but watch each of his movements, trying to commit everything about him to memory before our next separation.
It was different seeing him again now that I knew for certain he hadn’t betrayed me. I couldn’t believe I’d been in denial for so long, that in my hurt and anger I’d pushed him away in the first place. Of course he hadn’t betrayed me; he’d never hurt me in such a way. My stubborn pride had made me utterly foolish.
My distraction wasn’t lost on Trinity, still waiting impatiently beside me. “What are you staring at, Eden?”
At the sound of my name, Darius’s gaze snapped to mine. His entire manner immediately softened into a incredibly sweet look. Warmth washed over me at his softness, which did wonders for my battered heart.
But then his tenderness vanished and his eyes narrowed; coldness seeped over me as if I’d been doused in ice. What had brought on such a sudden change?
“Oh great, it’shim.” Trinity frowned at Darius before seizing my elbow and turning me away. “Just ignore him and help me pick out weaving threads.”
I tried to tug away, but Trinity’s hold tightened. “But—” I protested, looking back at Darius to find him still watching me. If I couldn’t be near him, I needed to at least see him.
She leaned down towards my ear, her expression surprisingly sympathetic. “I know it’s hard seeing him, but not to worry, we’ll leave soon.”
