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Hope momentarily caused my heart to lift before I forced the emotion away. Even if he were innocent, I’d still been suspended on informationhe’dgathered, information he should have been more careful with. Either way, it was his fault I was trapped in this horrible place.
I rolled onto my side so my back faced Stardust—closing myself off to any more of her confusing arguments—and faced the snow globe on my nightstand that Darius had given to me after he’d defended me against the Council the first time I’d stood before them suspected of a crime. I stared unblinking at the twirling colors, shapes, and patterns, their twisting dance mirroring the jumbled state of my thoughts.
What if Stardust was right and Dariushadn’tbetrayed me? With all of the clues she’d been digging up since our coming here, it was starting to look like he might be innocent after all...
I gritted my teeth. No, I’d pushed him away and refused to show weakness by crawling back to him, even if I was in the wrong. If he wanted to make amends he’d have to come to me, but he hadn’t even tried, not once since my coming to the Nightmare Realm. Obviously, he was either guilty or he wanted nothing more to do with me.
But as I watched the flying colors swirl in his snow globe, memories of the show we’d watched together returned full force—the tender way he’d looked at me, the warm caress of his soft touch, the fluttery way he’d made me feel...and those memories led to others, such as the night he’d kissed me.
The defenses I’d built around my heart cracked and fierce longing for him filled me—sharp, acute, aching. I buried my face back in my pillow to muffle my sob.
In our last conversation before I’d pushed him away, he’d suggested we could possibly be Pairs, a romantic relationship between beings who shared a magical connection. Such an explanation would explain why I couldn’t stop thinking about him. But with everything that had transpired between us...we obviously weren’t connected in such a way.
Yet that article...had he really given up his place on the Nightmare Council because he’d been trying to overturn my suspension? Why would he do that if he felt nothing for me?
Pairs...a word that was once beautiful was one I could no longer think of and imagine applying to us, not when doing so was so painful.Hewas the one causing me so much pain. I’d rather feel nothing forever than be reminded of him. Why couldn’t I just forget him?
Feel nothing, Eden.Feel nothing.
A knock sounded on the door, one I recognized all too well. Before I could even respond, it swung open, followed by Mother’s approaching footsteps and Stardust’s frightenedpeepas she morphed into something smaller in order to hide.
I reluctantly rolled over to face Mother, who glared at the spot Stardust had previously occupied. Her hardened expression softened as she gave me a falsely cheerful smile.
“I’m sorry to interrupt your...sleeping time, but I have something I need to discuss with you.” She didn’t even await a response as she sat on the edge of my bed.
I fought back a groan as I sat up. First I’d suffered through Stardust’s lecture, and now I was forced to endure a confrontation with Mother that would undoubtedly be just as unpleasant. She took my hand into her icy grip, the same way she always began our strained mother-daughter conversations.
“As we discussed earlier before you stomped off in a temper, I’m rather disappointed in you, Eden dear. I’ve tried to be patient while you’ve unnecessarily grieved your old life and the relationships you’ve lost—”
Uninvited, Darius’s face bombarded my mind, followed closely by Angel’s and Iris’s. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to push them back in the deepest recesses of my heart where they belonged.
“—but frankly this nonsense has gone on long enough. The more you cling to your past, the more you’re held back from the future you’re destined to embrace.”
When I remained silent, she sighed impatiently and patted my hand. Coldness slithered over me at her touch.
“During the years I was forced by the corrupt Dream Council to hide on Earth, I came up with a rather brilliant plan, one which—”
“What’s the plan?” I asked, my usual question, and Mother frowned, her usual response. She was just as tight-lipped regarding her “plan” as she was with most anything I asked about: her past, my father, the illegal plants she cultivated.
“I’ve told you several times that I can’t share it with you until you collect enough magic to join us. And unfortunately, that necessary circumstance has yet to be accomplished.” She tapped my empty locket with a dark fingernail. “I’ve been more than generous—I’ve lent you some of my powers, I’ve patiently waited, I’ve provided for you, and most importantly I’ve been accepting of your gifts and will provide you with many opportunities to use them as you deserve. All I ask in return is the one thing you continuously fail me night after night, and frankly I’m growing rather...weary.”
The guilt Mother excelled at causing me to feel pierced through my constant state of numbness. Her mouth twitched as she watched me soften, an indication that once again she’d won.
“Don’t you want to make me happy, Eden dear?”
I did. I hated how much I yearned for her approval,neededit, though it was the one thing that seemed impossible to earn. “I’m trying.” A sob strangled the words and I felt ashamed for having shown weakness.
Mother’s patience faltered. “You’re not trying hard enough. You’re holding yourself back; you won’t even steal fromhim; even after all he did to you.”
“I will.” The promise burned like poison on my tongue. “I hate him.”
Liar. But as I’d gotten so good at doing, I tuned out that quiet inner voice.
“Instead of having me steal it,” I began hesitantly, “can’t you share some of yours? You have so much.” Her illegal Ebony Market had yielded her quite the magical profit.
Her expression hardened. “Ihavegiven you magic, though it’s done little good.”
I flinched at her sharp tone, causing her to soften.
