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Guilt squeezed my heart that I’d been too wrapped up in my own pain that my negligence had caused hurt to others, Stormy included.
“Of course I like you.” It wasn’t even a lie; it was easier to like the poor little cloud after Stardust’s return. “Won’t you come out from beneath the bed?”
He didn’t move for a moment, as if debating with himself the potential risks such a drastic venture would entail, but then I felt him press himself into my arms. I scooted backwards, pulling him out as I did so, and settled cross-legged on the floor with him in my lap to pet him. With each caress more of his body reappeared.
“What should we do with him?” I quietly asked Stardust.
She glared at my stroking hand with a jealous gleam. “Return him to the pet store.”
He whimpered and promptly went invisible again. “Stardust,” I scolded gently.
Her dark expression melted away at my warning look and she sighed. “That does seem harsh. I’ll begin a new quest and find him a new home where someone can care for him.”
“In the meantime: be nice.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m always nice.”
If we hadn’t so recently made up I’d have debated that point, but instead I wisely chose to remain silent.
“That matter settled,” Stardust said, “there’s one more thing I’d like to bring up: now that you know Spiderweb’s innocent, I suppose your feud with him will finally end?”
While my recent interaction with him gave me cause to hope he’d forgive me for all I’d done to hurt him, my heart still lurched. “I can’t.”
Stardust goggled at me. “Why ever not?”
I bit the inside of my lip to keep my tears at bay. “Because I’ve hurt him too much. I pushed him away when he did nothing wrong and thenstolefrom him. Why would he want me after everything I’ve done to him?”
“I heard you talking to your mother about your hope that you two are paired,” Stardust said with surprising gentleness. “If you truly believe that, then you must know deep down that he’ll forgive you. You need to talk to him.”
I shook my head. “What I’m asking forgiveness for...it’s too much.”
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” Stardust said; she’d obviously been spying more than I’d initially realized. “He wants you as much as you want him. And I heard him today; he’s already forgiven you.”
He claimed he had, but it seemed too beautiful and wondrous a thought to accept when I had yet to forgive myself. What if he one day he realized he’d been too hasty with his grace and pushed me away like I deserved? Panic clawed at my heart at the torturous thought.
“He forgives you,” Stardust insisted again. “He wouldn’t have tried to kiss you today otherwise.”
The reminder of our near kiss sent fierce longing burning through me. “I miss him, Stardust.”
“Then might I make the revolutionary suggestion that youtalkwith him?”
Iwantedto, but the thought of apologizing for not only being wrong but for stealing so much of his magic, all out of revenge for believing he’d betrayed me by being paired with another...agonizing.
Yet I couldn’t deny how much I yearned to pick up the pieces I’d shattered between us and try to mend them. Yet fear held me back. What if after all my efforts he didn’t want to rebuild whatever had been between us before? The idea of his rejection was too much for my fragile heart to bear, even though it was exactly what I deserved after everything I’d done to him.
“I’m afraid.” And it wasn’t just my own insecurities; I didn’t even want to dwell on what Mother would do in her determination to keep us apart. The last thing I wanted was to hurt Darius more than I already had.
“I know you are,” she said. “But if Spiderweb is truly your Pair, isn’t he worth overcoming your fears in order to fight for him?”
My brow puckered. “Are you really encouraging me to rekindle a relationship with Darius, despite you not liking him?”
She avoided my eyes. “Whatever my personal feelings towards him, I can’t ignore the evidence of how much he means to you. I just want you to be happy, even if that means I’m forced to interact with that Nightmare. I don’t want you to be miserable anymore.”
Warmth enveloped my heart and spread through me. “And you really don’t think it’s too late?”
“It’s never too late.” Her eyes lit up the way they always did with her marvelous ideas.
Chapter 18
