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He pressed his forehead against mine. “Always.”
My heart lifted. He had? “But you never seemed to—”
“I’ve sensed you every time you came to watch my Weavings, every time we were in the same place, and every moment you tried to hide from me. I only pretended I didn’t in order to give you the space I knew you needed.”
My mind whirled with the implications of his words. He’d known I’d spied on him in the ice cream parlor, in the tea shop...even when I’d hidden in the forest, watching him interact with Shade. My cheeks heated at the thought.
He looked almost sheepish as he continued. “It was torture for me not to stare at you every time I felt your presence, not to go to you like I wanted.”
His shyness was rather endearing and helped lessen my embarrassment. “Then it’s no wonder you caught me last night.” My smile was teasing, but it faltered as I searched Darius’s grave expression. Panic replaced all other emotion. “What is it?” His silence only escalated my anxiety. “Are you disappointed?”
He seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “I care for you, Eden, and I understand what you’re going through, but...admittedly I am a bit disappointed, and not just for this, but also about what happened in the Cultivating Fields.”
Remorse seeped over me. I wished I could bury my mistakes forever, but they were determined to return to haunt me. And now they were about to extinguish my only light in the darkness—him. I should have known that the unwavering support and devotion he’d exhibited following that disastrous event was too beautiful to last. Though deep down I knew I hadn’t deserved his mercy, I’d been utterly grateful for it. And now it was going to be withdrawn.
“I—would give anything to take it back, Darius.”
“I know,” he said gently. “It’s just...” His look was pensive as he stared out across the starry sky and sighed. “Everything is such a mess. I wish I knew how better to help you untangle yourself from it, how to find the old Eden I know is still a part of you.”
Despair squeezed my heart at the truth. I felt as if darkness was returning to swallow up my new dawn, dispelling all the beauty of being with Darius again. “It’s the old Eden you care for, not the one I am now.”
His gaze snapped to mine. “Of course not. No matter your actions, nothing can change how I feel about you.” His hand squeezed mine reassuringly. “It’s because I care that I’m disappointed. I know you’re better than this, Eden.”
As did I. Iwantedto be better, not just for him but for myself. “That’s why I performed the illegal Weaving,” I said in a rush, desperate for him to understand. “It was motivated not just by my love for Maci but because I’m trying to find the light again. I couldn’t stand the thought of Maci experiencing so few dreams in months.”
His hand went to my cheek and I basked in the affectionate gesture, an assurance that he still cared. “I know your motives were good, but the Weaving was still illegal.”
“But how else was I supposed to help Maci? Her incompetent Dream Weaver has been terrible. It’s not right for Maci to have so few dreams.”
“I agree,” he said. “I’m quite frustrated with my current weaving partner, but you can’t allow such an emotion to lead you into making another bad decision. If you help Maci in the wrong way, you could risk suspension, and I want nothing more than for us to be a partnership again.”
But for that to happen, I’d have to be accepted back into the Dream Realm. “Do you really think that’s possible?” I asked.
“I do...even if I don’t know how.”
He looked so weary in that moment, as if he was bearing a great burden, one that came from me. Was I worth all the trouble I was giving him?
But when he next met my gaze, his was as tender as always, meaning that despite everything, he still believed in me and that I could be more than I’d become.
“I hope we can be a partnership again,” I said. “I miss constructing dreams, but nowhere near as much as I miss weaving for Maci. Perhaps there was a more selfish motive to weaving for her last night.”
“Luckily for you, I believe I’m the only one who caught you.”
I bit my lip. “Will you turn me in?”
“It’s impossible to betray my very heart.”
His beautiful declaration filled me with more than just relief; it was an assurance that he was still here, even after everything.
The discussion only reminded me of my dominance in my own Weavings. I lowered my eyes. “My current Mortal, Easton, hasn’t seen many dreams either. I’ve been using him to get back at his mother, who was one of the Mortals who tormented me while I lived on Earth.”
Admitting my actions out loud made me no longer detached from them, allowing fierce remorse to overcome me. My throat burned with tears as I buried myself against Darius, who to my relief wrapped his arms around me.
“I’mhorrible,” I stuttered. “You’re right to be disappointed in me, but it’s nowhere near as disappointed as I am in myself.”
He tenderly stroked my hair. “I know you’ve made some bad choices, but it’s never too late to make better ones.”
“CanI?” I demanded. “I tried to make a better one for Maci and it was yet another mistake. I don’t know who I am anymore, and that frightens me more than anything.”
