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Darius paused in our walk alongside the Milky Way Pool and gently squeezed my hand, causing my gaze to lift to meet his. “You seem deep in thought. Are you feeling better?”
I smiled and nodded, my heart swelling in gratitude for his loyalty and deep concern. He looked genuinely pleased, but when he resumed walking I caught a glimmer of another emotion in his eyes that caused me to once more tug us to a stop.
“And what of you? Areyoualright?”
He hesitated before his look gentled. “There’s admittedly something on my mind, but it’s not important, so please don’t concern yourself.”
I searched his expression, noticing just howwearyhe looked, as if he carried the heaviest of burdens. It suddenly occurred to me that whatever battles I was facing, he had his own...ones I’d entirely ignored, so consumed by my own darkness I’d failed to notice anything else.
Shame curdled my stomach, a burning sensation that made it impossible to continue holding his hand. His brows furrowed as my touch slipped away. “What’s wrong, Eden?” He reached for me, grazing my palm with his fingertips.
I felt as if I was facing all the shortcomings I’d tried to hide from for so long, each one smothering my budding hope he’d rekindled during our time together. “How can we possibly work when all I’ve done is take from you? I’ve given you nothing in return.”
I’d pushed him away, stolen his magic, and disregarded his own struggles to continuously focus on my own. My selfishness filled me with remorse. Despite knowing how deeply he cared, it was still a wonder Darius remained.
“The time to help another is not when you’re in such dire need of it yourself,” he said simply. Although I knew that up until this point I’d been suffocating, his words did little to make me feel better; if anything, I only felt worse.
“Yet you won’t share your own burdens with me?” I couldn’t bear the thought of him being in any sort of distress.
His hand curled around my cheek. “Iamstruggling, but you’re drowning. I don’t resent helping you in your moment of need. Mine will come when you’re feeling better.”
His look was so gentle, so understanding, but it wasn’t enough to appease me.
The thoughts of what could be troubling him and how I could give back to him filled my mind as I readied for and attended my Weaving, and long after I’d returned home afterwards. I spent an hour scribbling ideas in my notebook before giving up and lying in bed to stare up at the ceiling. But although the answer remained elusive, I welcomed this shift of focus, a chance to look outside myself in order to rid myself of the selfish Eden and give to the man I loved.
If Darius was waiting for me to heal before allowing me to share his own burdens, then I resolved to overcome my own darkness as quickly as possible. The puzzle ofhowto do this kept me up late, but eventually my mind settled enough for me to drift into a restless sleep...one that was far too short before Mother roughly shook me awake.
“Where have you been?”
I peered up at her through my droopy eyelids to find her towering over me with a sharp glare, her hands pressed to her hips. My still groggy brain scrambled for an excuse adequate to satisfy Mother, for the truth that I’d been with Darius would unleash a storm I was ill prepared to face.
Her expression hardened at my silence. “Answer me, Eden. I came for you hours ago, only to find you missing. I demand to know where you’ve been.”
I wanted nothing more than to bury myself beneath the covers and escape Mother’s dark mood, but I forced myself to sit up. “I decided to go out.”
Her gaze narrowed suspiciously. “For the entire day? You wouldn’t happen to have been spending your time with a certain Nightmare I warned you against associating with, would you?”
The fogginess filling my exhausted mind evaporated in an instant, replaced with raw panic. How could she...had someone seen me with Darius and informed her? “What?” I stuttered.
My reaction was as good as a confession. Mother’s smirk was triumphant. “There’s no use lying; my sources are irrefutable.”
I knew it. I groaned and settled back against the pillows. “Spying on me?”
“Only because I’m worried about you.” She settled on the bed and took my hand, holding it a bit too tightly, as if afraid of losing her control over me should she loosen her grip. “It’s a good thing I did so I could learn the extent of your disobedience. How could you associate with that Nightmare after I specifically ordered you to keep away? You shouldn’t want anything to do with him after he betrayed you.”
“He didn’t betray me,” I said, a comment she ignored.
“What’s more, I’ve been informed you’re no longer stealing dreams, not from that Nightmare nor from anyone else, not even Dreamers.”
“I don’t like stealing.”
“Of course you do,” Mother said. “You love getting revenge on the world that stole everything from you.”
I tightened my jaw. “No, I don’t.”
Normally I would have found it difficult to fight back, but I was still reeling from the most recent reminder of my shortcomings, my desires to be the person Darius believed me to be, the one I myselfwantedto be.
I lifted my chin and Mother’s entire manner not only darkened but twisted. For a moment she gave me such a skewering glare it was physically painful, as if she’d taken a dagger directly to my heart.
