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“I know you blame yourself, but you did your best, Eden.”
“Yet my best still wasn’t good enough.” Once again I found myself trapped in a nightmare of my own making, wanting nothing more than to escape. I was beginning to fear I never would.
Darius helped me settle on a log and I nestled closer to rest my head on his shoulder. Although nothing had changed, in Darius’s warm embrace I felt the fear clenching my heart gradually ease.
He burrowed against my hair. “Something deeper seems to be bothering you than guilt. Won’t you share the rest of your burden with me?”
There was so much he still didn’t know, but I couldn’t keep my secrets any longer. I took a wavering breath. “I’ve gone down a path that is causing harm to others, and no matter how hard I try, I only seem to find myself further down it. Tonight is a direct result of my past mistakes. If I hadn’t allowed my bitterness to lead me to steal from you, none of this would have—” A sob strangled the remainder of my words.
“Shh, it’s alright.” He rubbed my back and pressed his lips to my temple. “It’s in the past. We must focus on the issue at hand. So several of my nightmares were stolen?”
I nodded. “Trinity asked me about them, and I told her what some of them were.” I didn’t want to tell him any more; just that much was bad enough.
His thumbs caressed the backs of my hands as he waited for me to continue. I searched his eyes, full of sincerity and caring, which helped me muster the strength for the confession I didn’t want to give.
“Trinity came to see me in order to read the weaknesses in my heart. She knows how terrified I am of Mother abandoning me, of not belonging anywhere. Now Mother can use these fears against me, forcing me to do her bidding. I’m trapped.”
No judgement filled Darius’s expression as he listened, only pain. His hands enfolding mine tightened reassuringly. “What is she making you do?”
Shame curdled my stomach. I didn’t want to admit to Darius what I’d been doing. I didn’t want to lose him. I severed our gaze. Darius cupped my chin and lifted my head so our eyes met once more.
“Eden, remember that no matter what you’ve done, I’ll never stop caring about you. Ever. Now please share your burden with me. I can’t help you unless I fully understand the trouble you’re in.”
His promise enfolded me and comforted my fears. I believed him. Darius would always be here. I could trust him. I took a deep, shuddering breath.
“Mother forces me to explore nightmares in search of the dreaming Mortal’s emotions. She wants me to capture them and remove them from the dream so she can use the emotions herself.”
Darius gaped at me. “Is thatpossible?”
“I admit I was skeptical at first; in all my years of viewing dreams, I’ve never seen the Mortals’ emotions. I thought they must be either invisible or woven beneath so many layers of magic and detail as to be indiscernible. But then the other day...I discovered them. They flash briefly into existence right above the dreaming Mortal’s heart the moment they experience them. I haven’t told Mother I’ve found them.”
Darius’s jaw tightened. “It would be disastrous if she discovered them and used them for what she likely has in mind.”
“She wants me to excavate them so that she can turn them into plants that can be woven into the dream itself, creating much more magic than a typical Weaving generates. She must never get a hold of the emotions. But how can I keep the secret that I’ve finally discovered them from her forever? If she finds out...”
My panic returned, clawing at my heart. I leaned into him and his arms wound back around me. “You need to leave your mother before she hurts you further.”
I frantically shook my head. “How can I?” I felt as if I were in a labyrinth, unable to find the exit no matter how frantically I searched. “At first I didn’t realize it, but now I know Mother’s manipulating me, using my gifts for her benefit. But even though I now understand what she’s doing, I still can’t break away. I’m afraid of losing her. For my own mother not to want me...to never be good enough for her...it’s the ultimate rejection.”
I felt so weak making such an admission, but despite my confession, Darius’s tight, comforting hold didn’t loosen. “But how can you stay when she’s destroying you?”
“Because she’s the only place I could possibly belong.”
He pulled me away to look me in the eye. “That’s not true, darling.” He actually looked quite hurt. “You belong withme,and I want you no matter what. You don’t have to become or do anything except for whoyoudesire to be in order for me to cherish you.”
Hope flickered in my heart, briefly illuminating another path I hadn’t fully realized existed. He was right: no matter what happened, he was always there, and it was only now that I realized all that meant. With him I had a home.
But just because I’d discovered this path didn’t mean I currently had the strength to walk it, even if I could somehow figure out the first step. I buried my tear-stained face against his heart. “I want to be a Dreamer. I want to break away from all Mother is molding me into, but I don’t know how. I’m frightened, Darius.”
“I know you’ll find the strength,” he said soothingly. “One day your determination will be stronger than your fear. And I’ll help you. I promise, Eden. First, we need to—”
His words cut off as a golden summons suddenly appeared in the distance, weaving around the trees as it soared towards me. Darius gritted his teeth.
“A Council summons, likely from the Nightmare Realm. They must believe you’re responsible for what happened.”
Terror clenched my heart. I buried myself against him and tightened my hold. Even though I didn’t say anything he heard my silent, desperate plea. His arms wrapped protectively around me.
“I’ll go with you.”
