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When he came back into the apartment, I was still in the kitchen in the same place he left me. “Hey Desiree! Are you going to be okay?” I waved at him, wiping the new stream of tears. “Do you want to join me in the shower?”
“Would you like your appendage to stay intact?” I joked with him. As tempting as showering with him sounded, it was an invitation I had to refuse impolitely. “Hurry with your shower. Thai food is better warm.” I sighed heavily and downed my beer, drinking his soon after. It’s crazy after how much I drank at Charlie’s, I barely had a buzz. I am proud to say this girl could hold her liquor. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my men. I guess I was more afraid of keeping Hardin interested even if we were to confess our feelings to one another. I don’t speak for him, but my track record with men was not good. Either they got bored with me and searched for someone else or they were like puppy dogs and didn't allow me the independence I required on a daily basis.
Fifteen
Hardin
Monday Morning
Desiree was late to her own show and had to be replaced by her assistant, Millie, who spent the hour speaking about sex toys and how to use them in an appropriate fashion. My understanding was the phones were ringing off the hook for her show, as well. Perhaps it was because Millie was funny as hell, not to mention that her slight British accent held their interest. I only learned what a pervert the girl was. Her tagline would definitely be LUBE, LUBE, and more LUBE.
After I learned Desiree called in sick again, I figured she was hiding in her condo. Every call went straight to voicemail, nor did she respond to my texts. I had to go directly to Desiree King’s best source of information. “Millie?”
Millie ignored me, never turning around as her nose was buried in her iPad. The white wires poking from her hot pink bob was the reason she didn’t see me standing there. Leaning over her cubicle, I took a few paper clips and tossed them at her head until I got her attention. She turned around, jumping about three feet in the air. “Mr. Mills?”
“The one and only. Where’s Desiree?”
Millie responded after turning her music off, “She took a full day off and wanted to ride to the lake. Did you know since you two became a power couple, she’s been swamped on social media?”
I sat on the edge of her desk, crossing my ankles, “Yeah, I’m aware of the unwanted attention.”
“It's gotten worse. She called me this weekend in hysterics, because people were crowding around her condo. She was approached in the grocery store, the library, and the parking garage. Your fake relationship has gotten out of hand, and she is slowly losing her mind. I had no idea you and Desiree were local celebrities, it’s crazy.” Millie pointed to her monitor.
We cut our conversation short when Millie’s phone rang. I couldn’t hear the person on the other end but judging by Millie’s responses it had to be Desiree. I signaled for her to hand me the phone.
“Hello Desiree.” There was silence on the other end. “Are you still there?”
“Yes, I am. I have a lot on and need to clear my mind, with the hopes I am not about to make a couple of super huge mistakes. Put Millie back on the phone.” She sounded like she was almost on the brink of tears.
I handed the phone back to Millie and asked, “What is she going to do? She told me she was about to make a couple huge mistakes?”
She held her finger up, a polite way of shutting me up.
Anger and confusion blanketed me, and I left the floor. As the elevator doors closed, I broke out in hysterical laughter at the thought this girl was losing her fucking mind. Was it because of me, or were there other reasons she’d never tell me?
My phone buzzed. It seems Desiree wanted to continue her rant via text.
Desiree: “I’ve had men throw themselves at me lately. Do you think people are catching on that our relationship isn’t real? I’ve received emails and messages saying they know it’s a ruse. The men would tell me they’d love to be in a fake relationship with me also—always followed by some dick pic. It’s disgusting! I will be putting in my two weeks tomorrow and moving to a space station near Pluto.”
Wait a moment, no, that is not the way this was supposed to work. I mean, I’d expected a bump in my ratings and a bit of fun with Desiree for a month. However, this was chaotic, and I never expected either of us to be swamped by our fans via social media. I had to resort to putting my phone on permanent silence and ignored the messages, which I am sure weren’t pleasing the masses. But a small percentage of these so-called fans were twisted psychosocial people whose main attire should be a straitjacket.
This needed to end. As much as I didn’t want to break it off—for our sanity, mostly Desiree’s—I needed to do something.
Me:“No, don’t quit the show. We will figure something out. Come to my place for dinner, we'll talk about it then?”
She immediately responded with, “LOL. Oh, that makes it all better. Dinner at your place? How do I know you don’t have ulterior motives?”
No sooner had I read what seemed like a decline to my dinner invite, another text came through from Desiree. “Yes, I know he’s hot and I want him more than anything. But I have to make him believe that at the end of the month it is over…”
“Ummmm.” I text back.
Desiree responded back with an emoji wide-eyed and its mouth in an ‘o’ shape. “OMG- I’m so sorry, that was meant for Millie. Now you know my secret, I’ve never wanted a man as much as I want you. FML!”
I seriously had no idea how to respond to that. I wanted her more than anything too, but we had an agreement and I had to be a gentleman. All I could think to text back was, “Let’s play it by ear and see what happens after Friday night. Will you be at work tomorrow?”
She called me as I was sure her fingers were tired from carrying on multiple conversations at once. “What? You don’t want to hear Millie speak on lube and anal beads?” Desiree laughed. I could tell she was outside. Birds chirped and cars whizzed by. Also, the sound of the wind made it difficult to hear her.
“It’s not that. I looked forward to seeing you today, much to my dismay. What can I do to help besides giving you some good old-fashioned dirty sex?” I covered my mouth and cursed under my breath. It just came out and I was never one to blurt out anything inappropriate. It was her. Desiree made a sex-deprived pervert.
