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“This one?” I asked, and stood in front of the cell next to Ryker and almost directly across from Penny.
“I don’t fucking care,” the guard snapped with frustration, and pushed me again. I walked inside and watched him lock me in. They called in more people and the bunch of them began repairing the toilet and cleaning the mess I made.
I looked at Penny across the way, and she caught my eyes before giving me a smile. I gave her a wink, tilted my head towards the guards, and gave her a wide grin.
She caught on, raised her eyebrows and said, “Ohhhh.” Then she giggled, gave me a thumb’s up, and let her head drop back down to the bed, too exhausted to hold it up for long.
I whispered over to Ryker, “Thanks for standing up for me.”
“Any time, princess,” he said. “I wish I could hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay.”
“Me too,” I whispered, sorrow weighing my words down until they almost couldn’t fall from my lips. “Oh god, me too.”
I didn’t know if he meant he wasn’t able to hold me, or if he wasn’t able to tell me it was going to be okay. I suspected it was a combination of both, because there was no way for us to know if we’d survive this insanity.
I closed my eyes and I could almost feel him then, almost feel his fingers entwine in mine and his arms wrap around me. I yearned to lay my head on his chest, to hear his heart beating there, to know he was vital and there for me.
And I longed for Kingston, for information about him. I needed to know if he was alive with the urgency of somebody running out of breath. It hurt, it terrified me, and it would change my entire world if he hadn’t made it.
Not knowing whether he was living or dead kept me in the between spaces, a twilight zone of emotions where I couldn’t allow myself to hope and I couldn’t allow myself to grieve.
I longed for Archer, too. His extra, over the top sexual innuendos and his penchant for distracting me through humor, dirty jokes, and his sensual mouth.
And of course there was Valen. My sweet, kind, and supreme dirty talker, who could make me feel like I was the only girl in the world and deserved to be worshipped by each one of them.
I opened my eyes and realized my daydreams were just that. My imagination, my wishful thinking. The reality of my situation didn’t support my wistful fantasies for very long. It was too harsh to sustain any sort of pleasure.
The guards kept working on the flood and there wasn’t much time for me to talk to Penny or Ryker while they were there. I walked to the back of the room and slipped between the sheets on the new bed, wet clothes and all.
I dozed half asleep and listened to them complain about me until they finally wrapped it up and left. It got completely silent after that, and I finally relaxed once I realized they would not send me back to my other cell.
I closed my eyes and let myself drift off again. I couldn’t stay awake even with the adrenaline rush of excitement coursing through me. I was just too far gone into the pit of exhaustion.
* * *
I woke the next morning.Light streamed through the window, and I could hear a voice over the loudspeaker outside. I felt panic flutter inside my chest and a surge of fear shoot through my mind.
I didn’t know why I hadn’t been woken up, why they hadn’t taken me out into the prison yard with the others who must already be out there.
I jumped up and moved to the cell door, wrapped my fingers around the cold metal bars, and looked outside. Penny was still asleep across the way, and I could hear Ryker gently snoring beside me. They hadn’t left me behind because they hadn’t gotten any of us.
Relief flooded me, and I relaxed. I thought I had been tired before all of this. Like the mornings when I woke after fight nights, or after a late night study session. Or those times after being with Reg, when the drugs had dragged me into oblivion. But it had been nothing like this. I was fatigued to the bone, to the very marrow of my being. I had no idea how I was still moving, but it was just important that I was.
“Everly? What’s going on?” Penny whispered from her cell. “What time is it?”
She sounded so sleepy, like she wasn’t fully with it just yet. So I told her, “Go back to bed, I’ll wake you up in the morning.”
She mumbled something under her breath, but I saw her roll over and tug the blankets up to her shoulder. She had her back to me, but even from that far, I could see how weak she was. She wouldn’t make it far in this situation. I had to do whatever it took to keep her alive.
“Are you up?” Ryker asked from his cell. He kept his voice low and quiet, respecting Penny’s need for sleep. I loved him for it.
“I am. I think it’s morning but I can’t tell,” I said.
“This time of year? The days are so short I’m sure it’s morning,” he replied. “I wonder what new kind of fuckery they have planned for us today.”
“Don’t ask,” I replied. “I don’t want to worry too much.”
“Is there any way to find out about Kingston?” he asked. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”
