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Slate hated that he’d caused her to be angry, to hurt, to doubt herself. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Did it work? Hanging all those ornaments? That got me out of your head?”
“For maybe five minutes,” she said. “You’re really stubborn, and you didn’t want to go.”
“I love you.”
“We’re having a real conversation here,” she said, sighing. She stepped away from him, and Slate let her go. “So yes, I went overboard on the decorating. I’ve been updating the website for the ranch, and writing blogs, and I got a great idea from a comment. We’re doing the Howdy Holiday Festival thing, and it’s going to be great. Ginger is excited about it. So am I.”
“Do we have the budget for all of this?” Slate asked, picking up a harness that probably belonged to a horse but that bore the name tagPrancer. “I’m in charge of that now, you know.”
“Then you should know that I didn’t have the funds to hire a professional Santa. I was going to have to use one of the cowboys on the ranch.”
“Who were you going to ask?”
“Ted.”
“He’d be so much better than me.”
“Slate.” Jill stepped in front of him, her eyes hard and sparking, but not with the good kind of energy now. “There is no one better than you. Not for this job. Not for this ranch. And not for me.”
She spoke with such conviction that Slate actually believed her.
“I love you,” Jill said. “I love you so much I don’t know how to adequately explain it. I love you so much that I never could get you to leave me alone inside my heart, and inside my mind. I colored my hair. I went Christmas crazy. I ate so much ice cream, I should be forbidden from ever eating it again. And the chocolate. My mama made every chocolate dessert in her recipe book, Slate, and I ate at least one bite of all of them.”
His heart tore and bled, and he let it. He wouldn’t run from what he’d done. He wouldn’t try to pretend like the pain and hurt he’d caused didn’t exist.
“No matter what I did, you were still there, and Iwantedyou there. I didn’t really want to forget about you. I didn’t want to get over you. I’ve been praying and hoping you’d come back, and we could do exactly what we’re doing right now.”
He nodded, though he wasn’t sure he really wanted to be having this exact conversation. “Your mama is going to take some sweetening, isn’t she?”
“No,” Jill said. “If I’m happy and in love, she’ll be happy too.”
“Your daddy?”
“He’s been telling me for months to stay strong and keep the hope alive.”
“I don’t know if I deserve you,” Slate said. “But I’m going to work hard every day to try to be the man you love.”
“And I will work hard every day to be the woman worthy of your love.”
Slate marveled at her. At her strength. At her insight. At her perfectly charitable heart.
“My sister is going to tear you apart,” she said with a smile. “Just so you know. But it’s going to be awesome, because that’s who Haven is. You’ll get to see our family fight, because that’s what we do.” She stepped into his arms again. “None of that matters. All that matters is you and me.”
Slate held her close to his heartbeat, feeling the truthfulness of her words. “You and me,” he repeated.
“Well, and this Santa thing,” she said. “I love you for saying yes to this.”
Slate took in the disgustingly charming set, finding a sleigh propped in the corner he hadn’t seen before. His thoughts softened as he realized how much this meant to Jill—and how many more steps he still had to take to truly be the man he wanted to be.
“It is time for me to make new memories for Christmastime,” he mused. “I’ll always be your Christmas cowboy, Jill. As long as you want me to be.”
“Thank you, Slate,” she said, and she kissed him, and Slate started making new memories in that very moment, with the straw-scented air, and the hot cocoa cup, and Santa’s cowboy hat hanging on the wall.
Oh, and the woman he loved—and who loved him—in his arms. He couldn’t ask for a better Christmas gift than that.
