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Chapter Four
Clarissa couldn’t believe the audacity of the man standing in front of her. At the same time, Spencer had always been a sweet guy. He’d encouraged her to apply to culinary school, claiming they could continue their relationship from a distance easily.
When she’d been accepted, she’d fully intended to do that—until he’d said,I never expected you to get in.
In all honesty, she’d used that single statement to spur her on during the difficult times in the kitchen. She was going to show Spencer Rust—she was going to show the world—that she’d not only gotten into the best culinary institute in the state, she was the best one in her class.
“What do I want?” She spread her arms wide, as if she could grow wings and fly. “What I’ve always wanted,” she said, letting her arms drop back to her sides. “I told you once.” Her pulse pounded, because the things she hadn’t gotten yet made her anxious and upset.
“Husband,” he said, holding up one finger. A second one popped up beside it. “Family.”
It was amazing how two words could hold so much information and be so devastating. Not only that, but she couldn’t believe she was standing here talking about husbands and families with a cowboy who’d once had a shot at being involved in those things.
She nodded, swallowing. “I can’t keep doing the same things I’ve always done and expect different results. So I’m going to San Antonio. I have résumés out with several restaurants. I have a friend there, working in the industry, and she feeds me a lot of information.” Clarissa needed to go call Leslie right now, in fact. “And I have enough money to live there for a month or two before I must have a job.”
Pressing her lips together helped her stop talking, and Clarissa mentally told herself not to say another word. She didn’tknowSpencer just because they’d dated once, years ago. She didn’t have to defend herself to him, and she didn’t have to show him every detail of the shoppe today either.
Her shoppe meant a lot to her, and that was the only reason she’d show him how to do anything at all. She couldn’t stand the thought of Mrs. Burnett coming to get her dill and parsley spread and not having it for her. Or having Tenley Barker, a good friend who ran the bakery, come to get her milk and not having it crated and ready for her.
No, when Clarissa left Sweet Water Falls Farm, she would do so with a replacement in her spot that could do everything precisely as it was meant to be done. That was why she’d asked Daddy to put the job up so early.
“That’s why I’m leaving Hope Eternal too,” Spencer said, but Clarissa had forgotten what she’d said.
“To do something different?”
He shrugged one shoulder though she suspected he should’ve kept nodding. “I want something different. So yes.”
“What do you want?” she asked.
He held up that one finger again. “Wife.” Another finger. “Family.”
Clarissa dang near swooned on the spot. She swallowed and picked up her washcloth again. The counter in front of her sat spot-free, but she started wiping anyway. Anything to keep herself from looking at Spencer.
“You didn’t want those things last time.” It had been a wedge between them, actually. Spence had been a fun-loving guy, always ready for the next adventure. He’d liked holding her hand and kissing her, and she’d had no objections to that either.
But he hadn’t been to college, and he hadn’t been serious about anything. He had a job at Hope Eternal Ranch that he’d seemed dedicated to, but when she’d asked him what he wanted his life to be, he’d actually drawn a blank.
Cherry had told her that not everyone had their whole life planned out by age fourteen. That statement still burned Clarissa when she thought about it, because she hadn’t had her life planned that early either. She had goals, sure. She knew what she liked; lots of people did. But planned out?
No, Clarissa hadn’t planned out her life by age fourteen. Even now, the plan ebbed and flowed, because her goals never seemed to get any closer to where she stood.
“I’m not the same person I was ten years ago,” he said.
No, he wasn’t. He was more confident. Better-looking. Sporting bigger muscles. His eyes still glinted with desire when he looked at her, and the electric zing he’d always produced in her zipped through her bloodstream.
Maybe she needed a blood transfusion.
“Let’s go over the cleaning procedures,” she said. “And the inventory. I don’t think I have time for dinner.” She raised her eyebrows to see if that was okay with him. “There’s lots of time for everything else.”
He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I best be getting back to Hope Eternal myself. But I don’t even know if I got the job. Your dad never did say.”
“I’ll talk to him,” she said, though she was going to do her darndest to get Daddynotto hire Spencer.
“Just to talk him out of hiring me?” Spence quirked one eyebrow into a sexy glare, and Clarissa couldn’t help smiling.
“I’m very particular about this shoppe and the kitchen,” she said. “You might want to reconsider anyway.”
“I know what you’re particular about,” he said, clearly flirting with her.
