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It makes me absurdly turned on. That could be the resonance talking, of course. But I brush one last lock back behind his horns, unable to stop touching him. “This is a good look for you, you know. I like your hair pulled back like this.”
He grunts, rolling his shoulders and getting back to his feet once I’ve finished fussing with him, but I can tell he likes my praise. Has anyone ever praised him, I wonder? He’s the leader of his little clan, but being the leader can be thankless. A’tam is handsome but kinda dim. U’dron is friendly as all get-out. O’jek is very loyal and steadfast and I’rec…well, I’rec is cranky. I know a lot of the tribe tolerates him because they’re family, not because they enjoy his company.
They don’t see him for the good guy that he is. He’s handsome and devoted and clever. Unrelenting. Determined. Brave. Fucks like an absolute demon. Tia should be thanking her lucky stars he’s so intent upon her.
Just thinking about Tia sours my mood. Everything between us is still up in the air and will remain up in the air until we all come to an agreement. I’rec hasn’t said what he wants to do and I haven’t asked.
Honestly, I’m a little afraid to ask.
Resonance is supposed to be a done deal, but our situation is messier than most. Everyone else that resonated wasn’t with someone. I’rec’s been patiently waiting for Tia for years now. He’s loved her for what feels like forever, and I wouldn’t ask him to give her up just because of resonance. He doesn’t love me and I wouldn’t want to stay with someone that doesn’t want me wholeheartedly. That’s why I balked with R’jaal so many times. I felt like he wanted me because he was lonely, not because I was endgame for him.
But now because of resonance, I don’t get an endgame. When I’rec goes back to Tia’s side, I’ll just be Auntie Flor again, but this time with a kiddo at my side. There won’t be any hope for a mate, and that thought is more than a little depressing. Why is it everyone else gets the fairy tale and I get some sort of fucking soap opera?
It’s freaking unfair.
“Come,” I’rec says, taking my bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He hands me a pouch of trail mix instead. “We should go, and you should eat.”
“I just ate,” I protest.
“Eat again. It is good for you.”
Weirdo. I take a piece of trail mix and try to keep my spirits up, though I’m not looking forward to returning to camp. “So who do you think we’re going to run into first when we get back?”
“H’nah,” he says immediately, as ready to gossip as I am. “She is a nosy one.”
She’s more of a busybody, but I think he’s right. Hannah it is. “And you know A’tam will say something crude.”
“And R’hosh will scowl and shake his head at us as if we are naughty kits,” I’rec continues. “And Leezh will bark a bunch of words at us that mean nothing to me.” He shoots me a wry smile. “But it is because we are naughty kits to her, too.”
His smile warms my heart. I walk at his side, and we leave our cave and head back towards Icehome Beach, gossiping all the way.
* * *
I smellthe smoke of campfires before the village even comes into view. My belly clenches with a feeling of dread and I instinctively move closer to I’rec. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”
He puts a hand on my shoulder, drawing me close. “We have done nothing wrong. Resonance has decided, not us. We merely follow its wishes.”
Yes, and that’s the entire problem. I chew on my lip, mentally picturing R’jaal’s crushing disappointment and Tia’s devastated face as they realize what’s happened. I’m supposed to be bringing smiles to everyone, not destroying hopes and dreams. Isn’t life hard enough as it is?
And to make matters worse, the moment I’rec pulls me close I want to crawl under his skin. He feels warm and familiar, and my pussy clenches, hungry for more. My khui fires up, the song loud and insistent, and I’rec’s steps falter as his starts singing, too.
Why did we decide to come back to camp? We should have stayed away until resonance was done. This feels like such a bad idea. “Maybe we should turn around,” I say quickly. “Find another cave, hunker down until we stop resonating—”
“Ho!” calls a voice nearby. “I’rec! Flor! Ho!”
Fuuuuuck. I’m not ready.
As if sensing my panic, I’rec turns and carefully draws me behind him, blocking me from the view of the others as they approach. A warm rush of gratitude sweeps over me at his action. He’s going to take on everyone just so I don’t have to. No one’s ever done that for me. I hear a flurry of footsteps crunching in the snow as the others approach. “V’za,” he greets, and then less warmly, “T’chai.”
T’chai is Tall Horn, and I suspect that less-than-enthusiastic greeting is because of T’chai’s relation to R’jaal. I give I’rec a chiding poke at the base of his spine.
“There you are,” Vaza calls out cheerfully, his voice booming. “My mate was growing worried when you two did not return last night, but R’jaal said all was well. Do you need help with anything? Can we be of assistance?”
I peek around I’rec’s arm, and my gaze meets that of T’chai, who is watching me closely. Flushing, I give him a faint smile…and then I notice the kids behind him. There’s Pak and Rukhar, Aayla and Z’hren. Oh no. They’re all at that age where they’re loud.
And sure enough…
“Tita Flor, why are you hiding behind I’rec?” Pak asks, and he’s loud.
