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Not the graceful, fun way I’d wanted to tell him, but nerves were getting the better of me. The more he worried what I was going to say, the more I couldn’t hold the information in any longer.
I braced myself for the worst. He said nothing. He didn’t even look at me. He just stared down at one of my pretty pillows, decorated with purple lace.
“Um, anyway,” I continued. “I started suspecting right before you decided to knock on my door. That makes me think I’m about eight weeks along now but I’m not sure. I haven’t been to a doctor or anything yet. I, ah... think it happened the night we first...”
“The wedding,” he whispered.
“Yes.” I took another shuddering breath, trying desperately to keep calm. My insides were churning, and my chest was tight. This was it. This was the part where he ran. “So, I’m sorry this happened. It’s not like I wanted it to be this way. And I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, but I wanted to be sure. That’s why I’ve felt so terrible lately, and exhausted.”
More silence.
“And if this is where you want to bow out, that’s fine. I won’t take it personally. I know having a kid is probably not high on your to-do list. I’ll deal with this alone.” I swallowed back my tears as my throat began to tighten. “Don’t feel like you owe me anything.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked, lifting his head and gazing over at me. Then an enormous smile formed on his lips. “This is amazing!”
“It...it is?” I blinked.
Was he serious?
“Yes!” He reached over and tugged me into his arms. “We’re going to be parents! We’ve bonded and mated and now there’s a little one as proof of our love.”
I laughed awkwardly, swallowing hard against the clog in my throat. “It’s proof of something.”
That we’d jumped into bed the minute we met.
“I know I love you,” Lucian said firmly, staring down on me.
I struggled to sit up, staying close, but not wanting to be in his arms anymore.
“Please don’t lie to me just because I’m pregnant,” I whispered. “You barely know me. How can you love me? Because some witch told you I was your soulmate? Because an inner beast insists it’s true?”
Nothing about his dragon soulmate tale made any sense to me. Not any logical sense, anyway.
Lucian’s eyebrows lowered and he stared at me, hard.
“We’ve got our whole lives to discover everything about one another.” He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “What I feel is real. That’s what matters right now. Everything else will fall into place.”
I agreed, deep in my bones. But that annoying voice in the back of my head wouldn’t shut up. “Things are only going to get harder, you know that, right? Kids complicate life. I’m not going to be the graceful, sporty, awesome mom. I feel terrible, physically. I hate how I look and that’s only going to get worse as I get bigger. I’m a hot mess, Lucian.”
“Yes, you are indeed hot,” he purred.
“Ha.” I shoved at his chest.
“I’m being very serious,” he said. “Why do you keep talking so poorly of yourself? I thought we’d discussed this already.”
I looked away, unable to handle the weight of his gaze. “Because it’ll be easier on me if we do this now rather than further down the road. The longer you wait, the higher my hopes get, and then when you leave... it’ll destroy me.”
And any child we had together.
“You’re planning for a day that is never going to come.” He stroked my cheek with his fingers. “You have to keep trusting me.”
“What if I can’t?”
My biggest fear of all. What if I was too damaged by the past to ever be the woman he needed?
“Take it day by day.” He pulled my face toward his, so I was looking into his eyes again. “I’m not those other men.” One of his hands clenched into a fist. “Just thinking about how they’ve taken advantage of you... that is never going to happen again!”
The flash of anger in his eyes made my breath catch in my throat. He meant every word.
