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How in the name of the evil spirits had I ended up in this situation, with this woman that robbed me of my senses? How had I agreed to betray my father and turn his army against him?
The Night Queen, they had called her. The Queen of Ashes, Frida had warned her. But with the gods as my witness, I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. Not after everything I’d agreed to do to save her. And as much as I hated it, that’s what this was all about. At first, I was able to convince myself that I would betray my monstrous father for myself. When I grew tired of that lie, I convinced myself it was to stop the war. But even that was hard to make myself believe. I was so lost in a life of war, life and death were the same to me at this point. Of course I was tired of the suffering it had caused my solders and people, but as terrifying as it was, that was not the main reason why I had agreed to this.
The shocking reality was that I had done this for one reason and one alone.
Her.
Not because I was some teenage child in love, but because this woman I barely knew fascinated me, which was nigh impossible. Before I had met her, I had been a walking corpse. But somehow, she had been able to wake emotions inside me I had been unable to feel for years—both the good as well as the bad.
Just to be able to feel again was a gift from the gods I couldn’t ignore. And if the person who wanted her dead was my father, then I had to stop him, not matter the cost.
And yet, amid all these other thoughts, I found I couldn’t stop wondering what those full lips would feel like against my scarred skin. Were they as soft as they looked?
I shook my head as I felt my pants tighten.
Foolish monster. She’s only marrying you out of necessity. Otherwise, she wouldn’t even dare to look at you.
But maybe with time, if I gave her everything she ever wanted, maybe then she could tolerate me and someday, may the gods be willing, come to love me.
