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“Are you going to keep ignoring me? I said I was sorry, Cat. I was fucked up on pills, and I lost my shit. You know I love you. Please,” Rex pleads at my locker again, and I sigh. I am so tired of this. I have blocked his number three times, but he keeps finding some way to call or text me all through the night.
My dad went back to work and decided to take that assignment in Florida. I have been staying with Nick. I don’t feel safe being home alone. Rex always has a way of breaking in and getting to me.
“Dude, leave her alone. You really fucked up this time,” Lorna tells him, as she takes my arm and tugs me to English class.
“Are you okay, babes? He is super persistent, isn’t he? Did I tell you he has been blowing up my phone? Even went as far as to show up at my house. Thankfully my dad was home and told him to leave. He was completely wasted.” I pull her into a hug and groan.
“I don’t know what to do, Lorna. His dad is the mayor. There is no way I could report him, or try to get a restraining order against him,” I tell her as we find our desks. She sighs and nods, agreeing with me.
“Have you met the new chick yet? She’s like a mixture of Ronnie and Kelly, but worse.” I shake my head because I have heard about her, but I haven’t had the pleasure yet.
“I think I’ll stay clear of her then. I had enough torment and misery from Kelly and Ronnie.” Lorna agrees with me, and we quietly chat while waiting for our teacher. Once the class is full and Rexley is in his seat across the room from me, the door slams open, but it’s not our teacher.
“Cat Baker, you’re needed in the office. Please collect your things and follow me,” a lady in a pantsuit says. I follow instructions and walk down the hall beside her.
“Am I in trouble?” I can’t help but ask. She glances at me and grimaces.
“Not exactly. I’m sorry to do this, but I need my job.” She leaves me alone in an empty classroom, then locks the door behind her. I pull out my phone and call my dad, but the call doesn’t go through. Moving throughout what looks like an old art room, I take a seat at the teacher's desk.
A key turns in the lock, and I’m not surprised when Rex strolls in.
“Are you fucking kidding me? No, I’m not doing this shit.” I stand and move over to the door, but he blocks my exit.
“Please, Kitty. We need to talk.” I cross my arms across my chest and tap my foot, pursing my lips.
“If you haven’t gotten the clue, Rex, I’m done. I have blocked your number multiple times, I am on the verge of getting a restraining order against your psycho ass. So I suggest you get the hell out of my way and leave me the fuck alone.” My voice raises with every word, and by the time I’m finished, I’m panting.
Rex frowns. “Are you done having your little hissy fit?” I scoff and run my fingers through my blonde hair, tugging tightly. I roar in frustration, then start to laugh.
“What? What do you want, Rexley? Haven’t you put me through enough? Haven’t I been through enough lately? I need space, and you can’t even give me that. For someone who claims to love me, you sure don’t act like it.” His frown turns to a pout, and I roll my eyes, moving away from him.
“You are my everything, Cat. I need you. I won’t survive without you,” he whispers as if the way I’m acting is hurtinghim.As if he hasn’t hurt me time after time. Mentally, physically. I can’t do this anymore. I need to break this toxic cycle before it kills me.
“Please, Cat, just give me one last chance. I swear, Kitty, this will be the last time. I’ll go get help. I’ll do anything you want. I need you. You are the only brightness in my world full of shadows.” I shake my head, wiping my tears in anger. I can’t believe I’m crying again because of this boy.
“No, Rex. I have given you too many chances. I need to be free. Leave me alone.” He sniffles and punches the whiteboard hanging on the wall, screaming in rage. I slip by him and go for the door.
“I won’t live without you, Cat,” he whispers brokenly as I turn the knob. I don’t turn back to look at him when I say.
“Should have thought of that before you killed my baby.” He gasps, and I feel bad immediately, but it’s not like I haven’t spoken the truth. I should have ended things weeks ago, but I was too weak. My head is finally clear now.
* * *
It’s beenthree weeks since I have seen Rex. According to Nick, he went to rehab or something. I’ve told him I don’t want to hear anything about Rex from now on, so he keeps our talks to basic things. I have moved back home, and I am starting to look into colleges. I know I am late to the game, but I will be leaving in the fall. I need to get out of this toxic town.
That new girl Lyla is a raging bitch and has made it her mission in life to break me. Not that she could. You can’t break something that’s already broken.
But the constant remarks about my baby and how I didn’t deserve to be a mom are starting to get to me. Which leads to now. Me sitting here in my empty bathtub with a bottle of pills, contemplating if I should go on.
I don’t want to. There is nothing here for me anymore. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. I want the torment to stop. The pain of my heart being ripped out of my chest repeatedly to go away.
I must have pissed off an angel in a past life to put me through so much. I open up the text thread on my phone. I have a group chat started with the people I love and care about.
I’msorry I’m so weak. I’m not made to survive this life. I hope you will forgive me.
Don’t cry for me. Celebrate the good times between us and feel peace knowing I am now with my baby.
I click send,then swallow.
