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I nod vigorously. “Yes, but I do feel a bit silly.”
“That’s good. Feeling silly is good.”
After a few seconds, I stop wiggling and sink back in my chair. Nick folds his arms and sits up straight. His expression is surprisingly tender. Covertly, I clock the delicious dip and swell of his biceps and fantasise what it would be like to run my hands all over them.
He moistens his lips and my nipples harden at the thought of him spreading my legs and sliding his tongue down my thighs.
“All right. Close your eyes and take a deep breath,” he murmurs.
I follow his instructions and an instant wave of calm floods me. My muscles slacken, and I’m overwhelmed by a pleasing feeling of drowsiness. His voice drifts in and out of my awareness, travelling up my legs and into my thighs, permeating my whole body with a deep sense of relaxation.
“That’s right, Carly,” he purrs. “Empty your mind completely. Relax every part of your body, don’t think about anything, just focus on my voice. Let all of your worries fade away to nothing, and just breathe.Breathe. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly through your mouth. That’s right; you’re falling deeper and deeper into trance. Deeper and deeper …”
Nick’s words flutter through my head like fragments of a long-forgotten dream. I am barely aware of the subtle suggestions; barely conscious of the growing hold he has over me. At times, it feels like I’ve left my body, like I’m floating around the ceiling. At others, I’m aware of every flinch of muscle, every nerve ending.
For an interminable time, it feels like I’m falling down a rabbit hole. Down, down, down … And then I open my eyes and find I’m surrounded by never-ending blackness.
I hear the ticking of a grandfather clock:a pendulum swinging, counting down the secondslike a time bomb. Then I notice a weird, greenish glow that does not fade or flicker. I open my mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. A door materialises in front of me, a door with an ugly, Satanic knocker that seems to be leering. I hesitate before turning the knob and finding that it’s locked.
I try again.
Still no joy.
“Where am I?” I yell. “For God’s sake, someone tell me!”
My cries are met with a resounding silence, but I know someone is here with me. I can feel it,a dark presence creeping up my flesh like ivy. And then everything starts weaving around me and growing all dense and watery. I can’t breathe, can’t see properly.
Nick’s voice echoes in the silence of my mind. Soft. Seductive. “When I will you to do a thing, it shall be done. From this moment on, my will is your will, and you shall cross land and sea to do my bidding. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
I open my eyes again, blink a couple of times. Slowly, my surroundings come into focus. I’m lying in a steel-framed bed; antiseptic claws at my nostrils. The room around me is small and white, the bed-frame like prison bars. The only other furniture is a wooden hospital trolley. Tilting my head, I gaze out the window at blue skies and fields of green, rising and falling in a succession of glorious camel humps. Beyond, a glistening stream gives way to mighty slopes of forest that seem to go on forever.
The door opens and a nurse enters. “Your mother’s here to see you, Carly.”
I don’t respond. Vacantly, I turn back to the window and focus on the sky.
“Shall I tell her to come in?”
I shake my head. “No. Tell her to go away. I don’t want to see anyone yet; I’m not ready.”
“Very well. I’ll tell her you’re not feeling up to it.”
The nurse stares at me with a grim expression, her eyes dark and impenetrable.
Next thing I know, I’m flying through the sky, gazing down on a patchwork quilt of colours. My stomach lurches, the wind rushing through my hair and blasting my cheeks with a damp chill. I feel both frightened and exhilarated. I’m Superman, Peter Pan flying over Neverland.
Then Nick’s voice cuts in: “Focus, Carly, focus. Deep down, we both know you’re a strong woman. You have the discipline and self-control to do this. You know you can quit smoking anytime you want to. Breathe in deeply. Take a burst of fresh air into your sinuses, your lungs. That’s right. Doesn’t that feel good? Doesn’t it feel great to finally be able to breathe properly without that horrible smoke stifling you? Now, hold for the count of five, four, three, two, one. And now you’re awake.”
I open my eyes and for a moment, it’s like I’m seeing double. Slowly, I return to the current moment.
“How do you feel?” Nick’s voice comes from somewhere behind me.
I spin my chair around and find him standing by the window with his back to me. The room is dark; the storm outside has calmed to a gentle murmur.
“How do you feel?” he asks again.
I hesitate before answering, “I feel … great.”
