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I just wanted to cry in peace.
For all my life, for as long as I could fucking remember, my mother had always been like this. In fact, she hadn’t even given enough of a shit when she was still carrying me to stop the drugs and stop the drinking. The doctors said it was a miracle I didn’t come out with any kind of disorders.
But even though I’d been saved from that—somehow—my mother made sure she still left her mark on me when she was raising me.
And if it weren’t for Colwyn coming to my rescue that day and letting me be the little I truly needed to be, I’d still be wandering lost, wondering what I did wrong, where everything went wrong, and why anyone couldn’t love me.
But Colwyn had made sure I knew I was loved. He’d always gone above and beyond for me from the moment we met. And I loved him dearly; I loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone or anything before.
But even though I knew I was loved and I had people that cared about me, it still never hurt any less when my mother didn’t give a damn enough about me to love me herself.
She couldneverchoose me over her drinks and her drugs. And she never would.
7
Colwyn
Ithought today was never going to end. I couldn’t stop planning the perfect night in my head. I was hoping to come home and shower, and if Raleigh wasn’t in little headspace, I wanted to take her to Savannah for the night and propose to her on River Street.
I had it all planned out by the time I got home. I was going to pick her up, take her to dinner, and then ask her to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me. Was it too fast for other people? Most likely. But Raleigh and I had never operated normally.
Because we weren’t normal. What we had together wasn’t normal.
She was my little girl, and I was her daddy.
I quickly jumped into the shower and then called Raleigh as I was looking for something to wear. I frowned when her phone went to voicemail.
“Hi, you’ve reached Raleigh. Leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you when I can. Thanks!”
Her phone wasneveroff.
And instantly, I knew deep down in my gut that something had fucking happened. I quickly donned a pair of sweats and a Navy shirt before shoving my feet into my shoes. After rushing out the door, I decided on my car. I barely drove the damn thing around Sizzle since everything was in walking distance, but I didn’t want to waste time getting to her.
I made it to her place in just a little over a minute. Her door was even unlocked when I put the key in. Biting out a quiet curse, I pushed the door open and dropped my keys on the counter, my eyes scanning the room. The house was dark, all of her curtains drawn, not even the TV playing.
And then I heard a quiet sniffle.
Fuck.
I quietly shut the door and moved into the living room, flicking on a lamp on my way. She was burrowed under a blanket, curled into a ball, rocking just slightly. I settled my hand on her back. She didn’t jump, so that meant she was aware of my presence.
“Can I come in?” I softly asked her.
She sniffled and opened the blanket a little bit in invitation. I wedged myself behind her on the couch and burrowed under the hot as fuck blanket. She was wearing footie pajamas, her hood pulled over her head. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin on her shoulder. “You want to tell Daddy what happened?” I gently asked.
She sniffled again. “Mom showed up at the store,” she whispered.
I barely bit back a growl. I was going to wring that woman’s fucking neck if she didn’t leave my fucking girl alone.
“Talk to me,” I gently prodded.
Raleigh drew in a deep, shaky breath. “She didn’t say anything mean—well, unless the impliedI don’t want to see youwhen she told me she thought I wouldn’t be there counts.” I pressed her so close to my body that every breath I took seemed to breathe life into her as well. “When she left, she threw some random woman’s smoothie all over me. And that was the icing on the cake, so to say.”
“You could have called me, baby girl,” I gently reprimanded her. “I would have gotten off and come to you. You know that.”
She started crying again. “I wanted to be a big girl. Why can’t I be normal, Colwyn?”
I fucking hated her mother.
