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Should’ve seen that coming. Not that it’s a secret, but I want to keep that part of my life as far away from Gemma as possible.
“Vegas,” I exhale. “Had some old business to take care of.”
“Everleigh told me that much.”
I nod, then narrow my eyes at her concerned expression. “What?”
“Nothing.” She shakes her head, but I continue watching her, not buying it. “It’s just, I was worried. You have a history in Vegas, and it was suspicious when you just up and left.”
Studying her sweet features, I grin. “I had something to do for an old friend. That’s it.” I don’t go into detail because I want to put it all behind me. “You have nothing to worry about, I promise.”
That causes her to flash me a smile. “Glad to hear that.”
The room grows silent as we finish eating. The color has returned to her cheeks, and she doesn’t seem as distressed as she was this morning. Though I can tell the shit with Robert still weighs heavily on her.
Wanting to put her in a better mood, I bring something up that will have her laughing.
“Do you remember talking about the movie13 Going on 30in one of your letters?”
She chokes but quickly recovers. “Oh my God. How do you remember that? I was like what, fifteen?”
“You were obsessed with the romantic comedies of the early 2000s.”
“Still am, mostly.” She chuckles with a shrug. “How crazy to think I was dying to be an adult, and now here I am, wishing I could turn back time and be a naïve teenager again.”
“It’s funny how that works out, isn’t it? Always eager to grow up until you realize adults don’t have it figured out either.”
“I swore my dad knew everything. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized he was just winging it like the rest of us.”
“If you could go back to any age and relive it, when would you pick?” I ask, and when she lowers her head, I realize it’s a really stupid question.
“You won’t like my answer,” she states, meeting my eyes.
“Sorry, forget it. I wasn’t—”
“As much as I’d like to say falling in love with you was worth the pain of you leaving, I’d be lying if I hadn’t wondered what it would’ve been like to never have fallen for you in the first place. There were years of sadness when I questioned why I wasn’t enough for you to stay or come back.”
Fuck.
“Gemma,” I say softly, reaching for her hand resting on the table. “Nothing I say will take away what I did, but I’m so damn sorry I left the way I did. I had a lot of shit in my life that I needed to figure out, and I couldn’t do it here. I wanted you to come with me,” I remind her. “But I knew you couldn’t. You had your own life to figure out, too.”
She nods with sadness in her eyes. “I understand that. I just wish you’d have been able to come home two years ago. Life would be so different now.”
Two years ago.Before she met Robert.
“I wish a lot was different, Gemma. However, if I’ve learned anything in the past five years, it’s that we don’t get to deal our own cards. We have to take the hand we’re dealt and do the best we can with it.”
Gemma squeezes my fingers. “I’ve discovered a lot about myself recently. The reality of some things I don’t like, but some, I do. I’ve never been good at standing up for myself because I’m a people pleaser. Now, I’m learning what my limits are and how I need to set higher standards. The way I allowed Robert to constantly treat me makes me sick. That relationship should’ve never lasted more than a month.”
“So why did it?” I ask, relieved she’s realized that she deserves better.
She shrugs, resting her chin in her palm. “He said the right things and did stuff to impress me. Though it’s embarrassing to admit, I was desperate for affection. And as pathetic as it sounds, he was the first guy since you who I actually feltsomethingfor. Stupid me didn’t realize it was merely infatuation or lust. That quickly dissolved, but when he proposed, it was expected that I’d accept. Didn’t help that it made my dad so damn happy. The happiest I’d seen him in years. Robert fed me the fantasy of being married and living a beautiful life together. It didn’t click how manipulative and possessive he was because I was blinded by his promises. I never had a healthy relationship to look up to, so I thought it was normal.”
Before I can respond, a whistling Jerry waltzes in, then immediately stops when his eyes land on our hands touching. Quickly, I pull back and turn away from Gemma, but there’s no doubt he saw us. There’s no denying that he thinks I’m a homewrecker.
“Hi, Daddy,” Gemma greets with a smile. “How was lunch with George?”
“Fine,” he grumbles, walking to the fridge, then grabbing a diet Coke. “How was yours?”
