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“He said the same thing. He said the same thing. . .” Her cries trigger the lump of emotions jammed in my throat. I cover my mouth as a sob breaks free. A lifetime of anguish pours from her as she breaks down. I want to wrap them both in my arms and take away all their pain. The years they’ve suffered.
“I’m sorry I let you down, Mom. I should have stuck to the plan. None of this would have happened—”
She pulls away. “No, Ben. I’m sorry. I didn’t see you for so long because of my own selfish reasons. I’m sorry I left you to suffer alone. You’re right. No mother should abandon her own.”
“You didn’t—”
“I did. We both know it. I need to own my mistakes. I just hope you can forgive me. I don’t want to go on the way we’ve been. I want to be present in your life. If you’ll let me—”
“Of course, Mom. I want that too.” He brings her back to him, hugging her to his chest. They stay connected for some time, and I turn to walk away, feeling like I’m intruding on a personal moment.
“Where are you going?” Mrs. Wallace’s voice catches my attention.
I stop and spin back around. “I was just leaving you two alone.”
“Why the hell would you do that?” She releases herself from her son’s grip and stands. Ben follows, curious as to her intentions. I open my mouth to answer, but words fall short as she steps up to me. Her eyes lock on mine, her gaze penetrating. “Ben’s father always believed in fate, ya know? He had this silly notion that life had bigger plans for us than we could see or predict. No matter how much we pave our way, never expect it to go as planned.” She lets out a watery chuckle. “Guess he proved his own theory right.” She shakes her head. “I bet he’s watching over us, laughing his ass off at you two.”
I’m taken aback by her comment. Ben steps toward her, preparing to stop her.
“Henry would wait ’til Ben was done huffing and puffing about a certain girl getting under his skin and storming off before he lost it, laughing until tears streamed down his face. He’d say, ‘That girl has my boy by the balls. He thinks he hates her. He’ll realize one day it’s passion. Just you wait. . .”
My lips part in confusion. Tears well in her eyes. “I knew I recognized you the day you walked into my home. I only saw you once when Ben and I were at the grocery store. A girl on a bike peddled past us, and his entire demeanor changed. His eyes narrowed. His lips pursed. I asked what had gotten him so stirred up, and he pointed. ‘Her. That’s her,’ he said, finally breaking his glare from her when she disappeared from sight. It was in that moment I knew.”
I remember that day too. The night before, we played the stupid game of Ghosts in the Graveyard at Hannah’s. Ben and I found ourselves too close for comfort for longer than we both felt comfortable. I had no explanation, but something changed between us that night. I could barely comprehend it. And when I saw him the next day, I wasn’t ready to address it. So, I kept my head straight and ignored him as I rode past the store.
“I knew you were her. And Henry always knew you were the one. Just like he and I knew we were it for each other when he bumped into me in junior high.”
Tears fog my vision. She wraps her arms around me, and I lean into her embrace. “Thank you for changing my son’s life,” she whispers next to my ear.
Chapter30
Ben
“Dad? Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure. Come on in.” I walk into the den and plop down on the couch next to him. I fidget with my hands, twisting my fingers together. “Somethin’ wrong with football?” I wish that was my problem. I’d be able to solve that one. “Well, you gonna ask me something?”
“How do you. . . it’s just. . . say there’s this person. They make you so mad, it’s all you can think about. How do you make it go away?”
Dad sets down his newspaper and turns to me. “Well, I’m not sure you can. I think you see it through.”
“I can’t. She drives me crazy.”
“Ah, so this person’s a girl.”
I grunt. “Yeah. She’s the worst, Dad.”
I don’t understand why he’s happy when I’m practically crawling out of my skin in frustration. “Why are you smiling? This is serious!”
“I don’t think your problem is that you hate her. I think it’s that you like her.”
What the heck? “Gross! No way. I’d rather eat dirt. Give up football. Let Mom dress me up in girl clothes!” It’s ridiculous he would even say that. Coming to him for advice was a mistake. “Just gross.” I shake my head, stand, and walk out. “Thanks for nothing. I’m going to Kip’s.”
* * *
We’re both quiet on the drive to Jimmy’s. There’s so much I want to say, but I don’t know where to start. My emotions are still running high, and I’m not sure I can speak. I never expected today to go the way it did. It’s been the same song and dance for the past thirteen years.
Until today.
