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She blinked fast to fight back her tears. “I’ve failed, Alem. I can’t…”
“You would give up so easily?”
Now she drew back, her blood pounding. “Easily? Nori’s going to have a new scar because of me. All because I couldn’t…” How even to explain? “I couldn’t shut out the other mages’ anger — at me, at each other, at the world. It was too much, too heavy. It broke me, just like last time. Alem… I can’t do this. I can’t be a meridian.”
Tears spilled down the side of her nose as she spoke; she furiously swiped them away.
Alem inhaled deeply. “Then perhaps you should contact Sohvi and the other meridians. Maybe they can help.”
Verve shook her head. “Sohvi would just have me leave Lotis to join her and the others in Pillau.”
You don’t know that. The gentle thought wasn’t her own, nor was it Space-Between-Stars. It was Celidon. Even in death—a death she’d caused—he showed her a mercy she did not deserve.
Her chest felt tight and hot. Despair threatened to pull her down into the void, then Alem took her hand and squeezed.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “Verve, you’ll figure it out. Just know you’re not alone.”
The tightness eased. He was right — in more ways than one. She was a meridian; a host of memories. So she peered into those shared memories and found a similar dark moment, which the meridian Jocasta had overcome.
I’m not alone. Now that was a strange thought, but a true one. Verve sifted through Jocasta’s memories again, though she was not bold enough to search Celidon’s. In Jocasta’s, she found despair, but there was also hope.
And love.
Blinking, she looked at Alem, whose eyes were wide. A strange light illuminated the planes of his face, casting him in a faint purple glow.
“Oh,” he breathed. “Your eyes… They’re like stars.”
Startled, she lost the trail of memories and the glow on Alem’s face dimmed. “That’s normal for meridians?” she asked.
“I think so.” He hesitated. “Will you please try to just talk to the renegade mages one more time? It hasn’t worked yet, but there must be a way to resolve this whole mess peacefully. I must believe that. I must—”
She silenced him with a finger on his lips. He went still, his face illuminated by the light in her eyes: proof that she wasn’t the same person she’d been before coming here. Within her spirit, Celidon, Jocasta, and Space-Between-Stars echoed Alem’s soft plea.
“There is always another road,” Verve whispered. “That’s what the Sufani teach their children. But it’s up to us to find it.” She sighed. “Fine. I’ll try one last time.”
“Oh.” Alem blinked, then rubbed the back of his neck. “I thought you’d argue more. I had all these counter-arguments ready…”
Verve lifted a brow. “Save ‘em. I’m sure we’ll quarrel again soon. Then you’ll be even more prepared for me.”
A deep flush spread across his cheeks. “Nothing in this world could have prepared me for you, Verve.”
Her turn to blush. She didn’t mind one bit.
* * *
A few days later, Verve shielded her eyes from the midday sun as she surveyed the Tipsy Willow’s outer walls. A layer of stones now covered the front in a supplemental wall. While the builder had cobbled the stones together like a slapdash puzzle, the overall effect would help further fireproof the building.
“Not bad,” Verve said. “Where’d you find the stones?”
Ivet grinned. “Klaret found an abandoned building, half submerged in the swamp. Hadiya brought out her old wheelbarrow, and Kyon helped them dragged it here. And look,” she gestured to a bulky pile of something hidden beneath a linen sheet.
Verve pulled the cloth back and found a stack of lumpy clay.
“For the sides,” Ivet said in response to Verve’s unasked question.
“Good work,” Verve replied. “Will you…” She trailed off as a familiar presence entered her mind: Ellory. The shiftling was close and coming closer, and desperation hammered in her heart.
Verve’s throat closed, but she forced herself to keep calm. “It’s time to test the fortifications,” she said to Ivet. “Ring the gong and get everyone inside.”
