Page 81 of Assassin's Mercy


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Celidon nodded. “And to lose Space-Between-Stars and Jocasta…”

“And you, friend,” Jocasta said.

The Fae turned their starlight gaze onto Verve again. The other meridians are undecided.

Verve clenched her fists. “Anyone else want to weigh in on my future? Any other souls or past selves living in my head that I’ve not yet met? No?” She exhaled. “I can apologize until the sun burns itself out. But I can’t change the past, only try to help the future. You can talk to the other meridians?” When the Fae nodded, Verve’s resolve solidified. “Then tell them this: from now on, I’ll do my own thing. They don’t have to keep track of me. I’ll make my own way. I always have.”

“No, you haven’t,” Celidon replied. “You may believe otherwise, but you’ve let your past control your present and shape your future. Will you carry on this way, as you always have? I think not. I think the weight will crush you. And I cannot say I regret it. But,” he sighed again, “I have seen what shaped you, so I will try to help you.”

“Your kindness overwhelms me,” Verve muttered, although her mind spun at the dead man’s words. “Help me, how?”

Meridians are links: between the human world and the Fae realm, between memories, between the heart and mind, Space-Between-Stars replied. Through our magic, meridians can take on the burdens of grief, sorrow, fear, and release them to the river, to be purified.

They gestured above their heads to the glowing strands.

That… made no sense. “Huh?”

“Love is like a river,” Jocasta said gently. “Love is boundless, endless, so when the object of that love is gone, the waters churn and roil. They must find a new direction.”

“What are you saying?” Veve shot back. “That I’m just supposed to replace people I’ve loved? Seems cold. Coming from an assassin, that’s saying something.”

Jocasta’s smile held the just-enough warmth of a summer morning. “No, Verve. What I mean is that love is our natural state of being: ours and the Fae’s. It’s why we worked so well together. We are all born to love, however we can.” She gestured to the river of light above their heads. “Love is a river. Let it flow.”

Let me show you. Space-Between-Stars took Verve’s hands. Theirs were cool, light, little more than a feather-touch. But before Verve could pull free, the Fae’s star-bright eyes caught hers, pinning her in place.

“Inhale and gather up your grief,” Celidon said. “Exhale and release it to the river. Only then can you move forward. Inhale.”

Sensing no better alternative, Verve breathed in. Grief and anger coiled in her heart, a tight tangle of knots that she could never fully untie. But she didn’t have to; she had found their source.

“Exhale,” Jocasta said. “Release your pain into the river; feel how it always flows.”

Verve breathed out. The knots loosened, black threads uncoiling and reaching for where a light in the river flared. An answering light glowed in her own heart; a little flame of rightness. Some threads slipped free, flowing into the river, and some of the weight upon her lifted. Good work, Space-Between-Stars murmured.

“Again,” Jocasta said.

“How long must I do this?” Verve asked.

“As long as it takes,” Celidon replied.

Verve frowned. “So helpful. Thanks.”

Celidon flashed her a smile that held too many teeth. “You’re welcome.”

* * *

When Verve opened her eyes again, she was in her room. Alem sat at her side, writing notes in a little book, humming softly. The sky beyond the windows hung in a cloudy, pale place between dusk and dawn, and she could make no sense of time.

She had only a vague recollection of returning from Pilgrim Springs. “How in the blazing void did you dress me?” she muttered as she sat up.

“You dressed yourself.” He glanced up, dark eyes assessing. “Remember?”

She scrunched her face in recollection, but her memories from last night were foggy at best. “Kind of?”

“You were exhausted,” he replied. “You’ve been asleep all day. How are you feeling now?”

She rubbed her temples. Her head ached a little, and despite sleeping so much she felt like she’d not slept in a week, but otherwise… “Good. Hungry.”

Satisfaction flickered through his spirit, like the fireflies beyond her window. “That’s a good sign. Mind waiting here while I let Ivet know? She made me swear to alert her the moment you woke up. I’ll grab you some food, too.”

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