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LINCOLN
“She’s not here.”
Three words is all it takes to shatter my already-spinning-out-of-control mind.
“Then where the fuck is she?” I growl down the line.
“I don’t know, man. We’re going back to her house to deal with that and check the security feed to see if there’s anything on there we can use.” Finley sounds like he’s holding it together as well as I am.
Fuck.
I run a hand through my hair, tugging on it, hoping that the pain helps me ground myself. “Okay, keep me updated.”
The sounds of doors slamming filter through the call, followed by an engine starting. I want to be with them, searching for her, but there’s no way I can leave East.
I’ve never felt so torn in my entire fucking existence.
“Any updates on East?” Finn asks, sounding hollow as he puts me on loudspeaker.
“Not a fucking one. I’m just sitting here on my hands like a fucking idiot waiting for news.”
I hate feeling this helpless. This isn’t who I am. I’m the guy that fixes shit but this time as my world burns around me, I have nothing.
“Okay, let us know when you know anything, brother. And we’ll keep you up to date too. They’re both going to be okay.”
I nod at his reassurances, even though he can’t see me. “What if it wasn’t the Knights that took her?”
“It doesn’t matter who took her, we’re going to get her back.”
I can’t help but wonder if this was her stalker. If whoever is behind all of that is involved with the Knights, then it makes sense that they’d have a team to call on. The Knights have made it more than clear that they want her in, so it’s definitely the most obvious explanation.
“Check the bodies for the mark. Then we’ll know where to start at least.”
“Consider it done.”
“I should call Harrison.” I sigh, the idea about as appealing as pulling my own teeth.
The approaching squeak of sneakers on the shiny floor draws my gaze up. Seconds later, a nurse bustles through the door.
“I need to go.”
I hang up, knowing he’ll forgive it, and focus on the blonde nurse heading toward me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Mr. Saint. I just wanted to let you know your brother has gone into surgery, and the surgeon will update you when we have any more news.” She smiles tightly at me, and I drop back down into the chair I just vacated.
Twiddling my fucking thumbs like a useless asshole.
I knew we shouldn’t have gotten close to her, that we should have just made her leave.
If I’d stayed strong, done what I fucking said I was going to, she’d be safe elsewhere and East wouldn’t be fucking dying.
My self-loathing reaches a new all-time high.
I should’ve known better than to think I could grasp any kind of happiness. I don’t deserve it, not with the amount of blood on my hands. It was foolish to think that just maybe, she could be the exception to all of the darkness.
I look down at the blood crusted on my hands and head to the bathroom. Scrubbing at my hands and my arms until the water runs clear. The guy staring back at me in the mirror is a fucking mess. I try to clean up as best I can, removing the blood from my face and neck, but there’s nothing I can do about the blood crusted into my clothes.
It’s not important enough to pull one of the guys away from looking into the shit with Octavia. Even if it does make my skin fucking crawl. I’m not a stranger to blood… but this is East’s.
