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“Breathe in. Breathe out.”
He started again. Tapping under his eye, under his chin. Eight here and eight here. Breathing. A little less now. Okay. Another deep breath.
He reached down for the soda can, trying to focus on the cold metal. Not enough this time, he popped the tab and heard the familiar fizz, bringing it to his lips and feeling the tingly sweetness, tasting it as he swallowed.
He took a deep breath, had another sip, and looked around at the sights. It was dark now, and she’d be waiting. They were supposed to meet at 6:30.
He was a few minutes early.
Another deep breath and he unbuckled and hopped down from the car, welcoming the cold against his face that brought him back to the here and now. With every step toward her apartment, his mood lifted and a smile grew on his face.
He reached the old building, then hit the buzzer for her apartment and was overwhelmed by a wave of comfort when she answered.
CHAPTER18
Megan hopped down the steps feeling more excited than she cared to admit. She had been thinking about Troy and the kiss they had shared over the past few days. Every time he sent her a funny video to make her laugh, she got all nervous that he wouldn’t like her and panicked on how to respond.
One time she had waited too long to come up with a response and then had to run a call to a retirement home when she noticed he had texted three more times making sure she was okay.
Laura had pointed out she had it bad and shouldn’t think too much. Ash had texted she liked the looks of him and appreciated a good takedown. Despite her friends both giving the green light, Megan had butterflies in the shower.
What if he wanted more? The pressure felt like too much. She was a hopeless romantic and wanted that real deal love. The kind that swept you off your feet and kept you warm in an ice storm. The kind that lasted seventy years and then couldn’t end with death.
The problem was when she led with that it scared off her dates. Of course, being so sheltered didn’t help, which meant now she was caught between wanting a romance with the highest standards but being afraid to commit so she didn’t get hurt. Last night she had tossed and turned, and today was anything but productive as she vacillated between panic and excitement about what to do for tonight. Would she know what to talk about? What if he wanted to kiss again? Should they kiss when he arrived? Last time it was simple. No pressure. Thank you dinner and goodbye.
The car accident had ruined all of that though. Now they were on a new level, and Megan felt very out of her league.
Her phone buzzed as she reached the last step. It was a text from her group chat with Laura and Ash.
“Have fun tonight!” followed by three heart emojis.
As if they were talking about her, Ash texted immediately after with a thumbs-up and a sly smiley face. “You got this! Have a great time with Troy!”
Megan rolled her eyes, feeling love for her friends and low-key panic at the pressure of letting them down if tonight was a total fail.
“Thanks! Talk to you later.”
“Details, please!” Laura answered.
Ash sent a GIF of a dog with a sly smile and “Ditto.”
Megan could see Troy’s outline through the frosted glass windows and broke into a wide smile. When she ripped the door open, all of the anxiety went away until she saw his face.
Megan felt her smile falter. He looked like hell.
“Hey!” she said in an attempt to recover. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He gave her a tired smile, and before she could think, she stepped forward and closed the gap, enveloping him in a tight squeeze of a hug. His arms closed around her and he rested his chin on her head, and again she felt him tremble against her.
Megan pulled him tighter still and held on until she felt him let out an exhale. It was the kind of hug her grandmother had always given her when she was anxious or overwhelmed.
Megan had no idea what he was going through, but clearly something had gone wrong. He wasn’t the smooth talking, cocky guy now. Instead he looked…eroded was the only word that came to mind. He looked like he was so tired he could fall into bed and sleep for days. What could’ve happened?
Troy drew in a breath and pulled back with a cough like he was overwhelmed. “Wow, um. Thanks for that.”
“You looked like you needed it.”
Ouch…that was probably a terrible thing to say to someone on a date.
