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Troy didn’t answer, hoping it would go away like when he and Adam would ask Dad a question that Dad never acknowledged.
“You know what your problem is?”
“I’m leaving in a week and this house still isn’t done.”
“Nope. Minor. You’ll be back. This place is your birthright.”
Troy winced. It should’ve been Adam’s.
“Are you going to see her again before you leave?”
“Probably not.”
“Then that’s it?”
Troy closed his eyes, grateful he was facing the wall, so his dad wouldn’t see his pain. “Yep.”
“When will you be back?”
“Not sure, maybe Thanksgiving. Depends on where I head next. Probably will get new orders next spring. Not sure where I’ll go next. Germany was on the list. I think it might come through this time.” Troy focused on his paintbrush.
“You’ve been wanting that for a while. A lot of history. I know how much you love that.”
“Maybe you could come visit if the doctor says you’re doing okay.”
“Gah, I’m fine. Tip-top, and I’d like that. I’ve never been that far away. I’ll need to get someone to watch your horses while I go.”
Troy winced again.
“They’ve missed you. That big one always perks up when you go in there.”
“How do you know?”
“I see you go down in the morning and stay a little longer than you need to. They’re going to miss you when you’re gone. This whole place will. Won’t be the same without you here. Megan will miss you too.”
“Doubtful. And you know how it is. I have to go.”
“You’ll miss it too.”
God, more than he wanted to admit. The thought had plagued him for a while now, but he had to get back to treatment and see that whatever shit was stuck in his brain got out as fast as possible. He wanted to stay. He wanted to crawl back to Megan and beg for her forgiveness while her cats walked all over him. He burned for her. As much as his past was creeping up into his present life, she had been right. He hated feeling vulnerable, and as much as he wanted to avoid it, it had found him anyway.
“The circumstances weren’t ideal, but coming home has been good for you. You fit here.”
Troy opened his mouth to refute.
“You know the army isn’t forever. You will have a life outside of your job. It’s important to leave enough energy for that and think about what you will need with you when that time comes. You need to think about what really matters and who really matters too.”
Troy blew out a breath and turned to face his dad. “I only have eight more years until I can retire. Then I’ll come home. Having my pension will make it easier to run this place. Who knows? Maybe I’ll turn it into a bed and breakfast or open it up for events.”
Voicing Megan’s suggestion without her in his life felt like the ultimate gut punch. God, to think he could come back and live here. Would Megan still be single? Again, doubtful. Even the idea of seeing her with someone else made him sick. No wonder she had thrown him out when she had seen the messages. Admitting that he had broken her heart made him crumble.
His dad nodded. “That’d be good. You love to cook. Always were good at it like your mom.”
“Yeah, so that’s the plan. The pension will make it easier to get it up and going, but yeah. That’s the goal.”
His dad smiled, but nothing in it made Troy feel any better.
CHAPTER35
