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He leans in closer, speaking slowly and enunciating every word. “I. Saw. Your. Girl. At. The. Bank.”
“What girl are you talking about?”
Eyes roll to the ceiling. “It wasn’t the first time I saw you two together. What are you doing with his daughter?” He jerks his thumb toward the Chief’s office.
Grabbing him by the collar, I haul him to our bunks. At this time of the day, no one is even thinking about sleeping, much less doing it. “Okay, spill.” I shove him against the wall. “What do you think you know?”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure about what I know.”
“Then why don’t you let me in on the secret?”
He holds his hands up. “I’m not trying to get you in trouble, I promise. I wasn’t going to say anything to Chief. I was just giving you a hard time.”
Exhaling slowly, I do my best to dial it back a notch. “Okay, I’m sorry for overreacting. You understand why I’m slightly jumpy.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “I saw the two of you headed up to Cupid’s Point the other night. When I had to go into the bank on Saturday, I said something to her about it.”
“What did she say?”
I need to know her words like I need the next burst of air into my lungs.
“She asked me if I’d said anything to Chief and I assured her I hadn’t. Implied it was our little secret and I intend for it to be. Honestly, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I press out the question that’s been itching to be asked at the back of my throat. “Was she…did she?”
“Out with it, Rookie.”
“Did she seem ashamed that you saw us together?”
“What? No. What the hell?”
Most people don’t understand. Being home, but not belonging. Wanting desperately for those around you to see what’s underneath and inside. Wishing your skin or your last name wasn’t what seemed to make the first impression on those around you.
Even family. Those who should love you no matter what.
Thinking that she didn’t want to be seen with me? It’s a disappointment I can’t explain.
“That’s good to know.”
“What the fuck happened to you, Danny? Why would you think someone would be ashamed to be seen with you?”
These aren’t the types of warm fuzzies I’m likely to be sharing with the men of my company. These secrets I don’t spill. Not even when my mom comes straight out and questions how her family not openly showing love affects me.
“Nothing.” I give him a slight grin.
It’s one I’ve perfected over the years. The happy-go-lucky guy who never takes shit seriously. That’s what I’ve always outwardly portrayed to the public, but deep inside? I’m a fucked up mess.
His gaze knows too much.
“Hey, I’m the last person you need to lie to.” He holds his hand up in surrender. “My wife left me and, although I’ve been searching, I have yet to find her. Don’t think you have to make your life perfect for me, man. Life is messy and fucked up. Some around here have it better than others, but don’t think you’ve got to hide who you are. The best thing about being a member of this team? We’ve got each other’s backs. You just have to trust us enough to let us in.”
And that’s the bitch of it.
Trust is hard for me to come by. Has been since I realized what I am.
“What is that?” Chance asks.
It’s then that I realize I’ve said the words aloud. Although I’ve never spoken to anyone about this, it loosens the tightness in my chest. Rubbing a hand along the back of my neck, I pull my bottom lip in between my teeth, wondering if I can get out of this or if I need to commit.
