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CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
Hayden
“Good luck,”Janie warns as we open up for the day.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Last day of the month is the absolute craziest day of the month. Business owners are bringing any little bit of money they need to have deposited before the end of business. Lots are getting paid today so they’re coming in to get their checks cashed and money orders to pay bills. It’s slightly a shit show.”
I’ve never heard Janie cuss. “Those are big words coming from you.”
“They are, but it’s the truth. I always go home on the last day of the month and have two glasses of wine instead of my customary one.”
“You have a glass of wine every night?”
She nods. “My husband and I, we sit on the back deck no matter how hot or cold it is. He has a beer, I have a glass of wine, and we talk about our day.”
That’s much more domestic than I thought it would be for Janie. “How long have the two of you been married?”
Tilting her head to the side, I can almost see her adding the years together. “Twenty-seven years in October.”
My head shakes. “I can’t even imagine. You’ve been married to someone longer than I’ve been alive.”
“It’s work.” She shrugs. “But if you pick the right one, it’s worth it. It won’t always be easy and there might be times where you want to give up…” she trails off. “You know you’ve got the right one if you want to work through the issues.”
“Have you and your husband had issues?” The question pops out before I can stop it.
“Everyone has issues,” she starts carefully. “We couldn’t have children of our own and ended up adopting. The problem was me,” her voice catches. “He was fine with whatever we had to do in order to be a family. It was me who felt less than because I couldn’t give him a biological child. In the beginning, things were hard because I pushed back.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wanted to keep torturing myself with pregnancy tests that would never be positive. Ovulation kits that would never show me as doing such.” She smiles sadly. “He let me do it for probably longer than he should have, but eventually he put a stop to it.”
“I can imagine that was rough.”
“Like losing a dream but, when I gave into the fact I couldn’t change the circumstances, deciding to adopt was easy. I’m just lucky I found the right man for me.”
A warmth settles in the pit of my stomach as I think about Danny. He’s the most likely to be similar to her husband if I look back at all the other men I’ve dated.
“Look at that smile.” She elbows me in the side. “You’ve found one like mine, haven’t you?”
I don’t even realize I’m grinning, but I allow myself to nod. In this moment, I allow myself to believe maybe I’ve found one I can hold onto. One that won’t run away, like my mom did, when times get tough. “I think maybe I have.”
“Look alive,” someone claps. “We’re about to open the doors.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Janie takes her spot behind her computer.
Because I don’t know what to expect, I brace myself as the security guard unlocks the door. And they weren’t kidding. Five people come in like they were standing in a line - just waiting. Like it’s the opening of Black Friday at midnight.
And that’s how I’m introduced to the end of the month, working at the bank.
* * *
Stoppingat the liquor store on my way home after a Tuesday isn’t what I imagined my life would be like. Yet, here we are.
I grimace as I grip the edge of my door to lift myself out of the car. My feet are killing me, I’m not sure I sat down all day, and my fingers ache. Correction, feel like they’re going to fall off. I counted so many bills, it’s all a blur.
“Hey, Hayden.” A girl I went to high school with waves as I enter the store.
