Page 34 of Combust


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“If there’s anyone I know who can handle it, it’s you, Nat. And if Cam didn’t want you to be that person for his daughter, he would’ve let you know a long time ago. You know that as well as I do.” Mia gives me a smile.

“I know; I feel the same thing for her, though. She’s one of the most important people in my life. I want nothing but the best for her. At the same time, I don’t want to hurt her.” Saying those words are just as hard as I thought they would be.

“Nat, how in the world do you think you’re going to hurt her?”

Biting my thumbnail, I express my deepest thoughts and fears. “She’s been through so much and what if I don’t mean to, but I end up making things worse? I want to prevent that. Being this close to her isn’t something I set out to do, but it’s just how things have ended up. I care about her more than I ever thought I would and I care about Cam. I want to protect them both.”

Mia gives me a look. “My question is, who’s going to protect you?”

“I don’t need anyone to protect me. I know exactly what I’m getting into.” I’m confident in what I’ve said but, at the same time, I am scared for myself. These two have been such an integral part of my life for the past three years. There’s definitely a fear that this won’t work out the way I hope it will.

“Nat.” She reaches out and grabs my hand. “Just know if something happens, I’ll be right here.”

“You always have been.” I smile at her. “You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

“Which is why I want to keep you honest with yourself.”

“I know and I love you for it.”

But I’m not being honest, least of all with myself. I’m already planning a future. The one I see with the three of us, and possibly more, in it.

CHAPTERTWENTY

Cameron

“C’mon, Trin.”I hold her hand as we cross the parking lot of the elementary school. First grade has been a good time for her, from what I can tell. Looking down at her, the remnants of the stitches on her face remind me of how quickly life can change. How Nat and I haven’t told Gauge about us yet. It sticks in my chest and I desperately want to abide by her wishes but, at the same time, I’m all in. I want everyone to know I’ve finally chosen someone to share my life with. However, I know it’s gotta be on our time, not just mine.

“I hope the teacher is going to say nice stuff about me.” She swings our hands together, making a wide back and forth motion.

Looking down at her, I wonder if there’s something my daughter isn’t telling me. “I’m sure she will; is there a reason she shouldn’t?”

“I talk a lot.” She sighs.

The sigh is one that makes it sound like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. Oh, to be a kid and have the worst pressure be that your teacher thinks you talk too much.

“No.” I put my hand to my heart and pretend to be shocked. “Are you sure? You?”

“I get it from Natalie.” Her tone is defensive, making me laugh.

That she does. There were times when we were in school that Gauge and I would be walking the halls and she’d be sitting outside the classroom. Because she couldn’t stop talking to the person beside her. “It’s good, though; when you were little, you barely talked at all.”

“Really?”

“Really.” I’d worried a lot about her in those early days. When her mom and I had divorced and it was just me by myself. Maybe I was more affected by the divorce than I’d let on or maybe I just wasn’t prepared for what it would mean to take care of Trinity by myself.

She’d struggled.

I’d struggled.

As I’m sure many first-time parents do, I worried that I wasn’t doing what I should be doing and there’d been no one to ask. Sure, I could’ve gone to my parents, but they liked Rebecca and weren’t happy about the divorce. They’ve come around, obviously, but in the beginning it was rough.

The first day Natalie watched her, it was because a speech therapist was coming to evaluate Trinity to see if she needed extra help. The therapist showed Natalie what to do in order to help Trinity and since then they’ve been the best of friends.

Natalie went above and beyond for a child who wasn’t hers by blood and I will never forget that. It’s one of the reasons she’ll always have a special place in my heart, no matter what happens between the two of us.

“Where’s your classroom?” I ask once we get inside. I hadn’t been able to come with her on the first day; instead, my mom had. I haven’t met her teacher yet and am hoping to make a good impression.

“Down here.” She leads us to the left, walking further down the hallway than I assumed she would. “This is Mrs. Halcomb.”

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