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“When do I get to be happy?” I whisper to the dark clouds. “When do I get to see the other side of this life that everyone brags about?”
I already gave up one dream and I just can’t see a clear way to give up another.
And just as I have that thought, the rain starts, coming down in sheets.
I don’t have time to move so I sit there and let it wash over me. It’s warm, almost like a hug. Tilting my head up to the sky, I give myself over to it. Craving a moment of calm in all this chaos.
It’s interrupted.
“Nat, there’s some news you need to hear.” Mia’s face is a mask of worry as she comes out of the shop wearing a rain jacket. She gingerly takes a seat. The worry in her eyes tells me more than her tone ever could.
My fear is immediate. “What’s happened?”
I’m hit with a fear I haven’t felt in a while, not since they came to tell me Gauge had been injured. I’m transported back to that day, knowing with everything I had that nothing else would ever be the same again.
“Just came across the radio and the scanner. Severe storm is headed this way. The road into Bradford off of 129’s been washed out and there’s a six-year-old girl missing in the woods. Cam and Gauge are going to find her while everyone else heads to the wash out.”
And just like that, everything we’ve been fighting over is forgotten as I realize the men in my life are headed for a situation that could be life or death.
It almost killed my brother last time and all I can do is pray that this time won’t finish the job.
CHAPTERTHIRTY
Cameron
“It’s justthe two of us. We’re gonna have to go look for her. Everyone else will need to go to where the road’s washed out.”
In my mind, I’m already putting together a plan and trying to figure out how the group of us are going to make this work. There won’t be time to call in other departments from adjacent cities.
Danny and the guys are heading out, going to take care of the road that’s washed out. Hopefully there aren’t more issues we’ll have to take care of.
This is one of those times when I wish we could afford to have more firefighters, but every time we’ve asked, we’ve never been approved for them.
“I don’t wanna be here with you.” Gauge spits the words out as we start getting on our rain gear.
“Can’t say I exactly wanna be here with you either, but it is what it is. There’s no one else who can do this besides us, and there’s a little girl out there counting on us. Imagine if it were Trinity. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, and I know you wouldn’t be either.”
“Look, we just need to get this over with. We know how to do our jobs and we can do those without our egos getting in the way.”
“You sure about that? Because I thought you, of all people, would be excited for me, even if it was with your sister.”
He throws a glare over his shoulder. “Do we have to go into this now?”
We head to the truck we’ll be taking. I hop in the driver’s seat, him in the passenger. “No time like the present. If we can’t trust each other, then what are we really gonna accomplish out here?”
I concentrate on the road as we take off, trying to watch for where any of the runoff might be taking pieces of asphalt with it. The thud of the wipers thunders in the cab and I wonder if he’s going to say anything. When he does, it surprises me.
“I’m not even mad you’re with her.” He clears his throat. “It’s not even the fact it’s her and you. It’s that you two are getting to live the life you’ve always wanted and deserved,” he explains. His tone is subdued and nothing like the best friend I’ve known for so long.
“You’ve gotta be a little more direct with me; I’m not quite following.”
He holds up his arm. “I’m jealous. So fucking jealous. The burn, it’s damaged some nerve-endings. I’m never going to be able to do what I did before. I’ll be riding the desk for the remainder of my career at the fire station. I should’ve told you a couple weeks ago, but I couldn’t get the words out.”
“Man…” I don’t know what to say, not sure anything would make this situation any better.
“You don’t have to say anything. I’ve just been fucked up about it. You and Nat were an easy way for me to get some of my anger out. It’s much easier to be angry at the people you love than the things you thought you’d be spending the rest of your life doing.”
“Natalie would understand,” I remind him. “She had to give up her dream of professional ball. You should’ve gone to her for understanding, not to make things fucking difficult.”
