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“What are you doing?” he said.
“Your sister also explained that you’d try to run me off. Because, and I quote, ‘He’s a giant asshat and thinks he’s too awesome to need help from anyone.’”
He growled and reached for her. “Okay, little girl, it’s time for you—”
She leaned away from his hand. “Please don’t kick me out. I really need this job.”
He froze and then dropped his hand.Godsdammit.“My sister told you to say that, didn’t she?”
Tula shook her head. “No. But it’s the truth. I need the money for college. I’ve only got one more year left, and my parents can’t afford the tuition. This is the only job I’ve been able to find that comes close to paying the bills and is flexible enough for me to go to school.”
Bloody fucking hell.She’d found his loophole. No, he didn’t mean his asshole—his loophole. A deity’s purpose was to help humans. It was hardwired into their DNA from day one.
Now he had to help.
He scratched his unshaven jaw, unsure of what to do with her. Why would Cimil hire this naïve little human female to help them pay their penance—finding mates for one hundred immortals—or something like that? Honestly, the other garble the other gods had said at his sentencing about learning compassion and the true meaning of love had gone in one ear and out the other. The part about being stripped of his powers and banished, however? Well, that stuck like dog shit on a shoe.
“Fine,” he grumbled. “You can stay. But just for the time being until you find another job.”
“Thank you! Thank you,” she said. “I promise you won’t be disappointed. I’m a hard worker and great at organizing.”
“Yes. Yes. You’re welcome. You’re welcome,” he said blandly. Now where would he sit? He looked around the empty room that would also serve as their lobby. “I’ll work in there.”Fuck Cimil.She hadn’t shown, so he’d take the big office. Let her sit on the floor. “Maybe you can start by ordering some…” He waved his hand in the air. “Some things to make this hellhole look less like a hellhole.” Gods only knew how long he’d have to keep coming here; might as well make it worthy of a deity.
“Okay. I’ll get right on it.” She glanced down at the desk. “Is that a Bionic Man lunch pail?”
“Yes.”Silly mortal.Could she not see the giant letters on the metal box, clearly stating “The Bionic Man”?
“My dad had one of those when he was little. A huge Bionic Man fan,” she said.
Her father? But the woman at the very “cool and hip” store for younger humans had said that it was what the “edgy” and “fucking awesome” people used these days to transport their afternoon meals. No, he didn’t have to eat but enjoyed doing it anyway. Yes, he was a stress eater. Okay? Even deities had their challenges.Thankfully, I don’t gain weight. I’m just a giant piece of awesome.
Zac looked down at the lunch box and rubbed his jaw. “Well, it’s a…a friend gave it to me as a joke.”Note to badass self: Must smite salesperson at trendy store for deceiving me.
“Aww…well, I think it’s cute,” she said.
In that case, I will merely maim salesperson.
Tula scooted her body closer to the desk. “So, where would you like me to start after I order the furniture?” She flashed a smile that, despite its nervousness, was bright and cheery. Of course, that happy shit was completely lost on him.
“Ehhh…well, what exactly did my sister tell you?”
“Um, that you are the God of Temptation—now exiled and powerless—and she is the Goddess of the Underworld, also exiled, though she still communes with the dead. She is also a new mother to two boys and two girls, and, I quote, ‘one dangerous mess of woman-hormones with giant cow udders.’”
“She told you what we are?” he asked. “And you’re not afraid?”
She shook her head, her blonde ponytail flopping side to side. “No, sir. My momma raised me with an open mind, and I always suspected there was more to this world than what I saw with my eyes.” She shrugged. “I love being right.”
Funny. Me too!
“Ah, well. In that case, Tula, welcome to reality.”
She leaned forward, lacing her hands together. “So is it true? You have an army of immortal warriors, kind of like the bad vampires in theTwilightbook?”
He cringed. “We are gods. Fourteen of the most powerful creatures in existence, not…” He made a sour face. “Vampires.” Of course, in general he didn’t have anything against those sneaky sifting bastards. For example, his brother Kinich, ex-God of the Sun, was now a vampire, and even Cimil’s mate, Roberto, was an Ancient One—the first of his kind. He was also once an Egyptian pharaoh, which made him an arrogant, ruthless fucker. Who could resist liking that?
He added, “We are divine, my dear human. Birthed from the Universe’s womb.”
She shrugged. “I still lovedTwilight.”
