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“Whatever is asked of me,” she said quietly. “No restrictions.”
I took several deep breaths. Then I repeated the process. I folded my arms over my chest. And in the calmest voice I could summon, which admittedly was like angrybean sidheon a bender, I asked, “To clarify, you gave an open-ended vow for an unspecified favor to a faery?”
“Yes.” My mother tilted her chin up and stared at me. “You are my baby, Geneviève. I would carve out my heart for you if that was what it took to protect you. Those corpses and thedraugr,they were everywhere. Like maggots on rot. And they weren’t like your father. They were terrifying.”
I closed my eyes. “We will not discuss him. You agreed.”
“Fine!” Mama Lauren touched my face. “You are my world though, Geneviève. Surely you understand. When you’re a mother, you’ll—"
“Please. Don’t.” My voice cracked. “If you are contacted, you tell them to find me. Whatever faery it is, I need to be present. I want you to be safe. Agree to that, and . . . and I’llforgiveyou.”
“You have my word,” my mother said softly.
I nodded. Her madness over motherhood wasn’t a thing I understood. Maybe it was a Jewish thing, or a pagan one. Both faiths uphold maternity as nearly holy. Maybe it was just her. Some women felt the call to mother as if it was their divine function. Whatever it was, the one and only thing she ever wanted out of this lifetime was to be a mom. She insisted everyone call her Mama Lauren. Not just me. It was her identity.
And me? I never wanted children. All I could think of was passing my own wrongness on. And I suppose it didn’t help that the dead man who helped her in her quest for motherhood wanted to use me as an incubator fordraugrreproduction. To me, motherhood was a trap, and to her it was a gift. We would not agree on this.
“I’m heading out.” I pretended not to see the heartbreak on her face, but I still hugged her tighter than any human could do and reminded her, “No mother has been as loving as mine, and I am the luckiest child to have you as a mom. I know that.”
She sniffled. “I love you.”
“I know.” I kissed her on both cheeks and her nose. “I love you, too. If you hear anything, let me know? Something is wrong with the rise in newdraugr.”
Mama Lauren nodded. She might not always make sense to me, but when it came to lending a hand—or a spell—I could count on her. No human could gather information from the otherworldly quite like a witch. Adraugrwas previously-human. A faery only looked human. Witches werebothhuman and otherworldly.
And then I let myselfflowback to the park to catch the first bus back to New Orleans. I felt better physically, and I had a few answers, but I had new questions, too.
Tonight, I’d see my friends. Tomorrow, I’d meet Tres. And in the middle, I’d pretend not to know secrets I ought to share with Eli.
* * *
Until recently,finding steady work had been harder than I’d like. Then, in the last two months, I had more removal jobs than time to do them. Part of me wondered why.Draugrweren’t keen on creating an excess of mouths to feed on the population. They’d kept themselves a secret for centuries, so they were well-aware of how many of their kind they could feed and hide.
So why was there a bump in newly-infecteddraugr? Had one of them freed Marie Chevalier? And who injected Chaddock? Was the woman with the syringe there because of Marie? HadMariebeen injected, too? Why?
The injections mentioned by Tres certainly set off alarms, but he was one man with one theory. Alvin Chaddock could have been getting injections for pain medicine or vitamins. I had no reason to believe that there was a conspiracy or that the injection was tied to his death or the increase in beheadings I had to do. And sure, Chaddock was weirdly alert, and he’d seemed strong—but I was tired and my magic was wonky. Three days of rest and one night in the relaxing bed at Jesse’s flat had calmed my worries. The visit to the Outs had me feeling like I was invincible.
The need to help Tres pressed at the back of my mind, and I decided to reach out to the police. Subtly. The fucking lectures Gary had already given me were my ceiling for well-intentioned worry. And I wasn’t about to hang out an old-school detective shingle. I was making a few calls. Asking Mama Lauren. Monitoring obits. But I was still me—just a woman with weapons and the skill to use them.
Tonight, though, I was ready to relax with my friends—and get my phone back from Eli. Maybe I’d call Tres to follow up and see if he’d learned anything. There was no reason to wait until lunch tomorrow. We could meet later tonight. I could see what he’d learned and—
I paused. My desire to help Tres felt like more than guilt. I wasn’t surewhy, but the list of things that made no sense was growing too long.
“Fucksicles.”
Having my magic untethered was making me off kilter in way too many ways. I needed stability, and that meant seeing my friends. I could sort out the rest later.First, I’d drink and see friends at Eli’s bar. I needed friendship and liquor, and I thought they needed to see me, too. Both Christy and Sera were worrying in their own ways, and I felt guilty for not talking to them about my magic being weird—and about my feelings for Eli. I just tried to limit what I told them about my job. No sense making their stress levels higher.
I’d delayed later than I should’ve, stayed inside out of the glaring sun, and now I was scurrying through the streets at a pace just shy of flowing. Sometimes, I would call myself careful. Tonight wasn’t such a time. I could feel tendrils of energy, a sort of low hum that told medraugrwere near. The warehouse district was two blocks away, and somewhere there was a group of dead things. They felt like gaps in the world, pockets of vacancy. I couldn’t feel just one with pinpoint accuracy, but if several were together, I sensed it much as hearing sirens or smelling cigars.
The sirens lifted and fell like a strange song. Voices rose in anger, in greetings, in excitement. And things that skittered on paws and claws ran nearby. My mind sorted through the sounds faster than I registered most of them.
And with my internal sundial, I realized how close to careless I was tonight. Put me in a windowless room, and I’d still know. Sunset was in three minutes.
Three g’damn minutes.
I slammed open the doors to Bill’s like I was running from a pride of hungry lions.
“Slow down,” Eli grumbled as his hand stopped one of the doors from contact with his face.
