AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“So, I should do what? Risk our friendship? Use you until there are too many feelings? Should I be with you knowing it will hurt you eventually?”
Eli glanced at me. “Yes.”
I wanted to hit him. I knew better. Punching someone because they pissed you off was shitty. Doing it while he was driving was even stupider.
“Go enjoy your boy toys, and in the end, you’ll see that I could have been here all along. The fae are not so . . .narrow.I do not begrudge you the flings you need to find peace.”
“Liar.”
He drove in silence for several minutes. “I do not lie to you.”
My anger bubbled inside me. I knew the fae didn’t lie.
So, when he pulled into the morgue parking lot and put on his gloves, I decided to test my theories. He opened my door. I stepped out, but instead of taking his steadying hand, I wrapped my arms around him. He didn’t resist as I turned him so my back was to the half-lit lot.
I shoved him a bit forcefully into the side of his car and took a wrist in each hand, squeezed them, and held him in place. Electric surges, magic that grew between us like sparks before an inferno, threatened to overwhelm me. I didn’t retreat.
When Eli opened his mouth to speak, I kissed him.
And he didn’t refuse me. He parted his lips and let me have control. I gave him none of the affection he deserved. No kindness. No soft touches. No words of regard. I told myself he was no different than a stranger in a bar.
But he tasted like honeysuckle wine, and I wanted more. It wasn’t Eli who couldn’t handle what we could be. It wasme. I wanted Eli. Even in the moment, I couldn’t tell myself he was anyone else. I wanted him. No one else.
My body pressed into him, toe to hip. We were sealed tightly together. I felt his muscles hard against me, and the realization that he might be able to overpower me made me moan a little. So few people could overcome me physically with my fucked-up ancestry. Eli could. If he knew I wanted that, he would.
And he wouldn’t judge me for it.
My hand slid into his silken hair, clutching to be sure he wouldn’t escape.
No mercy.
My magic was the only thing I kept in check.
I felt his body respond, so I hitched my leg up, pressing closer to his obvious arousal. He made a noise that eroded a little more of my self-control. I tried to pretend he was not Eli. I tried to pretend we didn’t fit. I was simply proving a point. I was using him. He was just a body, replaceable, meaningless. I wasn’t emotional.
Eli might not lie, but in this, I was. Elimatteredto me. I knew that, and now that we were hip-to-hip and mouth-to-mouth, I also knew that the chemistry we had was extreme.
I was . . . so very fucked.
Nothing had felt as natural as kissing Eli. I kept my eyes closed, but I could smell the unique scent of Eli, taste him, and my body was awash in need that was more than simply sexual. It made me pause.
As soon as I felt his arms lift, his hands grip my hips to hold me to him, I tried to step away. I managed to pull back enough to stare at him. He looked as shaken as I felt.
“Still right here, peach,” he said lightly. His grip tightened, and he bit my throat gently, kissed my neck, and whispered into my ear, “I’m still here. Trust me. Trustthis.”
Casually, or at least as casual as I could be, I said, “If I can’t use my magic, and you can’t leave your hands where I put them, it wouldn’t work, so stop pretending it could.”
I stepped away, and he let go. I wanted to prove that he couldn’t accept being used, that he’d demand more, that he wouldn’t give me that kind of control. So, I turned and walked away from the pretty little blue sports car and the gorgeous man leaning against it.
Honestly, I needed distance or I wouldn’t stop touching him—and he needednotto know that. My attempt to prove that he wouldn’t settle as he claimed he would was far from well-advised. If I hadn’t retreated, I’d have shoved him onto the hood of the car and made a spectacular and very public mistake.
That was the secret I’d kept from him—and myself. I might not do relationships or feelings, but I was already there. If I went any closer, I’d break at least one of our hearts. I’d spent so long claiming I was protecting him, but the reality was that letting Eli into my heart or my bed would destroy me in the end.
I was three steps away when he answered, “If you don’t trust my control, I suppose you’ll need to use handcuffs then.”
Chapter Seventeen
My pace quickenedas I walked across the dark and light patches of the parking lot without replying to Eli. I was not running. Clearly. I was simply walking quickly. And what was there to say tothat? The image of Eli handcuffed to my bed was enough to short-circuit my already lust-soaked brain. Eli wasn’t the one to finally kiss me, despite the fact that I’d granted him a kiss in a bargain. He’d kept his word. He didn’t cross the lines I’d drawn. That was all on me.
