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“That might be what I need to do. I just don’t think I’ll be able to settle down right after graduation.”
“Very few people do. You’re young, Mari. Experience life!”
I want to talk more, but the lights dim and the talk begins. John is engaged with the speakers, but I can’t focus on what they’re saying. My mind wanders to what John said about adventure.
Maybe he’s right and a few short trips will help satisfy my need to get out and see the world. However, will I be ready to settle down after that?
My entire life plan feels wrong now. What I thought I wanted makes me feel claustrophobic.
I can’t just not have a job, though. I’m not the type of person who can sit at home doing nothing. I get bored too easily. I’m a restless soul, despite being a shy homebody. I always need to be doing something productive, like reading or cleaning.
That’s another reason why an office job might suffocate me. Could I sit in one place for eight hours a day? I used to think it was the perfect job for me. Now, I don’t think I can do it.
I need a purpose in life.
I just need to figure out what that purpose is.
14
Mari
By the time lunch rolls around, I’m starving.
John chuckles when my stomach grumbles.
“Come on, let’s go find Mark and get some food in you.”
“Yes, please,” I say.
“Are you okay with eating here instead of going out? There are a few more talks I want to see this afternoon, and the one right after lunch is one I really don’t want to miss. Leaving would be a risk.”
“It’s fine with me,” I say. “I don’t care where we eat as long as there’s food.”
He laughs. “Sounds good.”
John texts Mark to meet us in the dining room. Most people opted to go out in the small town for lunch, so it’s mostly empty. The food is served cafeteria style, so we get in line and grab what we want. I go for a burger and fries while the guys get a grilled chicken sandwich and a personal-sized pizza.
We easily find a table and settle down to eat. I groan when I take the first bite of my burger.
“This is the best food I’ve ever eaten.”
Mark gives me an odd look.
“She was dying of hunger,” John explains. “You should’ve heard her stomach during the last session.”
“That makes a lot more sense. I’m glad we got you food before you passed away from starvation.”
“Me, too,” I agree. “So, Mark, did you enjoy your lectures?”
His face lights up. “Yes, very much. That sex worker discussion was incredible. I had no idea how many old novels talk about prostitution and other sex work. We spent a lot of time talking about Fanny Hill. I’m glad it’s something I’ve read.”
“That actually sounds interesting,” I remark. “I haven’t read that book, though, so I’d have been confused.”
“It was fascinating. Then I went to another discussion on women of color in literature. I wasn’t as happy with that one, mostly because the topic was so broad that we didn’t get a lot of in-depth discussion. I did really like the last session I attended on the dead female body.”
“That’s morbid,” I respond.
“You should have read the examples. I wasn’t as surprised this time, though. I know that a lot of the time, women are dead before the novel ends, especially in classic literature. That’s one of the major themes of this conference.”
“I don’t like that statistic very much. I prefer stories where the women survive.”
“Me, too,” Mark agrees. “How were your sessions? Learn anything interesting?”
“I did. But I’m not sure Mari liked the sessions as much.”
“I liked them!”
“You were practically asleep during the first one.”
“Yeah, but I started to pay attention during the second and third. That has to count for something, right?”
John laughs. “Tomorrow, you should pick topics that actually interest you. There are bound to be a few here.”
“Yeah, I’ve already found a couple in the schedule. I looked at the offerings during that boring first session.”
“That’s good. I know this conference isn’t your cup of tea, but I want to make sure you get something out of it anyway.”
I nod. “I want that, too. I’ll try to pay more attention this afternoon. Maybe I’ll tag along with Mark this time.”
“That would be fine. You’re allowed to do whatever you want.”
“I want to stick close today. Tomorrow, I’ll be more comfortable to go off on my own.”
“Excellent,” John says.
I take another bite of my burger. Once I’ve swallowed that bite, I open my mouth to talk again.
“This is totally off-topic, but there’s something I’ve been wondering.”
“Yeah?”
“How did the two of you meet? I mean, I know you met at a welcome reception, but lots of people attend those events. How did that reception turn into this type of relationship?”
