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I squeeze her arm. “Getting pregnant was an accident. I’m happy, but I’m also only nineteen. It’s crazy. We’re only freshman. I don’t want you to miss out on life events because of a baby too. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to get pregnant right now.”
“I know, I know. You’re right. It was just a fun thought. We could’ve raised our babies together, like we’ve always talked about!”
“We can still do that. We’ll just wait a few years, and then I’ll get pregnant again when we’re both ready for kids.”
“I’m holding you to that,” she warns.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll want tons more kids with Mark and John.”
“You know, you’ve only been with them a few months.”
“True, but like I told you, it feels right. I think…well, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with them.”
“Mari! Have you told them?”
“Not yet. I don’t want them to think I’m just saying it because of the baby. In all honestly, I’ve been feeling it for a while now. They’re amazing! Getting to know them has only solidified that I care about them a lot. I can’t imagine my life with anyone but them.”
Jessica grins. “That sounds like love to me. I’m so happy for you! Not only are you having a baby, but you’re having a baby with the men you love. That’s the dream, right there.”
“You’ll have it too, someday,” I assure her.
“I know. And you’re right about the baby thing. Honestly, I can barely take care of myself. I’m in no place to take care of a baby right now.”
“Exactly. I couldn’t do it without Mark and John.”
“They’re going to be great fathers. I know I only know them in class, but I can just tell. They have paternal instincts.”
I smile. I’ve been thinking the same thing. Mark and John care so much about people. They’re smart, strong, and confident men. I hope our child grows up to be just like them.
Of course, I want the baby to be a bit of me, too. I wouldn’t mind sharing my love of nature with my child. Then we could go on hikes and nature walks together when he or she is old enough. I hope the baby gets the guys’ hair, though. Mine is super curly and tangles easily. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
“You’re thinking about the guys as fathers, aren’t you?”
I blink. How long have I been staring into space? Probably too long, considering the way Jessica is looking at me.
“I was mostly thinking about what the baby will look like. And what traits I want him or her to get from me and the guys.”
“That’s adorable. I have an idea!”
Jessica pulls out her phone and fiddles around with it until she finds what she’s looking for. She opens up an app and pulls up a picture of Mark and a picture of me. One button push later, and it’s showing me what our baby will look like.
It’s the perfect combination of Mark and me. It has his hair and chin but my eyes and nose. The baby is adorable!
“Oh! Do John next.”
Jessica finds a picture of John and plugs it in. This time, the baby gets my hair, but it’s not quite as unruly. John’s genes help tame it. This baby is just as cute as the one with Mark was.
“You’re going to have the perfect child no matter who the father is!” Jessica exclaims. “I’m so jealous. You’re so lucky!”
My hand finds my stomach again. I truly am the luckiest girl in the world. Not everyone has two men who love and care for them, and who will love and care for our child. I may be young, but I know this baby is going to live a good life because of his or her fathers and me. We make the perfect team.
“I’m so happy, Jessica,” I say. “I know I keep saying it, but it’s so true.”
Jessica hugs me again. “I’m happy for you. Your life is perfect. Nothing can ruin it.”
We stay in my bed, chatting, for a while longer. Jessica’s words ring through my head the entire time. Nothing can ruin my happiness or the perfect life I’ve built.
I won’t let it.
20
Mari
It’s a beautiful day.
Despite it being December in New York, it’s relatively mild. I’m walking to class in my winter coat, but I don’t need to pull it tight around my chest to keep out the winter chill.
Beyond the weather, I’m feeling good. I went to dinner with Mark and John last night and then went to sleep the second I got back to my dorm. I was still feeling the residual effects of the motion sickness pill I took on the plane yesterday morning.
I woke up feeling rested and ready to face the day. I still wish I was in Alaska, but I’m excited to be back at school, too. It’s going to take some adjusting after having a week and a half off. I can’t even imagine the assignments I’ll have to make up.
