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I take a few deep breaths. Stress is bad for the baby, like John and Mark warned me yesterday. I can’t do anything that might risk the health of my child. He or she is going to become my entire world in just a few more months.
I rest a hand on my stomach. Everything I do from now on is for this baby. I want him or her to have an incredible life. I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.
The dorm door opens, and in walks Jessica. She grins when she sees me.
“Mari! I missed you last night. Did you get some?”
I thought I was doing better. That I was all cried out after last night. Apparently, I was wrong.
Just the sight of Jessica causes me to burst into tears.
She rushes over to me. “Oh my God. Mari, what happened? Did you break up?”
“No,” I manage. “It’s so much worse!”
“Is it the baby?”
“No, the baby is fine. We’re in so much trouble, Jessica.”
“You’re not making sense. Tell me what happened.”
Jessica sits on my bed, and I lay my head in her lap. I recite everything that happened after class yesterday. The trip to Dr. Dryer’s office is especially hard to recount, but I know I need to.
My best friend listens quietly until my story is over, stroking my hair as I speak.
“Holy shit,” is all she says when I’m finished. “That’s intense.”
“I know. It’s a fucking mess, Jessica.”
“It’s bullshit is what it is.”
I sit up. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, who does this bitch think she is? The way she got all condescending when you told her that you love them is ridiculous. She doesn’t get to decide how you feel!”
That’s exactly what I had thought when Dr. Dryer was talking to me. The old woman had no right to act like I’m not in control of my feelings. I may be young, but that doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.
“It was so awful, Jessica. I wish you’d been there. The guys couldn’t even talk. She just kept steamrolling them.”
“What’s going to happen?” Jessica asks. “Do they know yet?”
“They’re going to be fired. They’re sure of that. Mark might get kicked out of the PhD program. I don’t think there’s anything more they can do to John, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried.”
“God, Mari, I am so sorry. This is truly terrible. I mean, it’s not like you’re the first student to get involved with a professor!”
“No, I just wasn’t careful enough. We shouldn’t have gotten caught.”
“How did they find out about you guys?”
I shrug. “I have no idea. Someone ratted us out. I guess maybe a student or another professor saw us out on a date or something.”
Jessica sighs. “Bullshit,” she repeats.
“It is what it is. There’s nothing I can do about it now.”
“No. I mean, it’s bullshit. Like I said, these relationships happen all of the time. The punishment is never this severe. You’re being brought down for a different reason.”
I furrow my brow. What is Jessica talking about? She always has some other reason for everything. Like how she thought I was with Mark and John to better my grades. She doesn’t think that anymore, but it took a lot to convince her.
“I don’t think so, Jessica. I think they’re just really harsh on punishments.”
Jessica rolls her eyes. “You like to believe the best in people, Mari. Sometimes the reason isn’t so cut and dry.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. This isn’t some massive conspiracy, Jessica. The guys broke the school’s rule. That’s all.”
She scoffs. “Please. That’s not true, and we both know it.”
“We don’t both know it. Can you please bring me up to speed here?”
Jessica gets up off the bed and starts to pace. Sometimes I hate how dramatic Jessica has to be about everything. Can’t she just say what she wants to say without all of the theatrics?
Then again, she wouldn’t be Jessica without a little drama.
“Think about it, Mari. What is different about your relationship with these guys compared to all of the other professor/student relationships that happen?”
“Uh…nothing?”
“Mari.”
“Oh! You mean the fact that there are three of us? That doesn’t mean anything, Jessica. Mark and John got in trouble for their relationship with each other, too.”
“That’s even worse! You’re being punished because you’re in a bisexual relationship!”
Jessica’s words fall between us. I don’t have anything to say in response to that.
I’m trying to keep myself calm, but my palms are sweating. Jessica has a way of talking that always convinces me she’s right, even when she might not be. Like the outfit she made me wear when I went to John’s office the first time!
Of course, in that case, it worked out well. I ended up with two boyfriends out of the deal.
This time, though, I don’t feel as confident. I mean, Jessica is probably just upset on my behalf. I appreciate that about her. But that doesn’t mean there’s some big conspiracy against bisexuals on campus.
