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“Shit.” Matt’s quiet curse hung between them, and he sighed and moved away, tension and sadness and lust all warring across his gorgeous face.
For Ellie, it didn’t matter that they had no future, that they only had tonight. She was already his, and tonight she would happily follow him into whatever beautiful unknown he wanted to share with her. As if she had any other choice.
“I want . . .” She stumbled over the words as fear threatened to choke her. This was exactly the kind of situation she’d promised herself she would avoid. But looking at him, she couldn’t stop herself from speaking. “I want to be with you.” Because, dammit, she did. The idea of walking away from him right now and not spending every single second they had reveling in this connection was inconceivable. Unfathomable.
“Ellie, I can’t give you what you want.” He rubbed a hand over his mouth.
“But what I want is you. Even if it’s just for tonight. I want tonight.”
“Fuck.” And then his mouth was on hers again, hungrier and more desperate than before. She moaned softly, and he tightened his grip on her. She gasped when she felt how spectacularly hard he was. Hard and . . . Jesus, that couldn’t all be him, could it? Caressing his tongue with hers, she rocked her hips against him and was rewarded with a low groan.
She pulled away, kissing down his neck. “Let’s just . . . not think, okay? Let’s just enjoy this for what it is. Because I’m having a lot of fun.” She nipped at his skin as she spoke, and he sucked in a sharp breath when she drew her lips over the spot where his jaw met his ear.
“I’m definitely having a lot of fun.” His lips brushed the shell of her ear as he spoke, sending delicious shivers coursing over her skin. “And we’re not even naked yet.”
She swayed into him as her bones turned to Jell-O. Oh, God. Naked. With Matt.
Yes, please.
“Then let’s keep having fun. Okay?” She looked up at him, squashing down the sadness that she couldn’t keep him. She didn’t have time to feel sad. Not if she was going to enjoy every second with Matt.
“Okay.” He scooped her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest, and kissed her again, each kiss hotter and deeper and more urgent than the last, and she knew he was fighting down the same sadness she was, kissing her like a man who had no time to waste.
As she melted into him, she knew that this was going to really hurt, but right now, with Matt’s arms around her, his lips moving against hers and sending heat spiraling through her, all she cared about was living in this moment with him and savoring what had so far been the best night of her life. She was jumping out of a plane without a parachute, and it wasn’t the fall that was going to kill her. No, the fall would be exhilarating and thrilling. It was the sudden stop that would do her in.
“You’re cold.” Matt spoke the words against her mouth, as though he couldn’t bring himself to completely sever the contact.
He was wrong. She was burning for him.
“Can we go to your room?” he asked. She nodded, but a realization zapped through her.
Oh, shit. Well. This could put a damper on their night. “I don’t have any condoms.” She bit her lip and looked up at him.
He laughed. “I’ve got it covered. Don’t worry.” He grabbed the champagne bottle from where it sat in the snow and began walking them toward the door.
“So, what? You just bring condoms with you everywhere you go?” Suddenly the image of Matt sleeping with some random woman infiltrated her brain, and she blinked quickly, wanting it gone.
“No. But I happen to know my brother has a stash.”
“Thank God.”
He set her down and twined his hand with hers as they started down the stairs, his free hand wrapped around the neck of the champagne bottle. “We could’ve done other stuff.”
“I don’t think it would’ve been enough.” As if the possibility of them not having sex was at all legitimate.
“Luckily, we don’t have to find out. What’s your room number? I’ll meet you there in five.”
She told him, and he handed her the champagne bottle and then adjusted his jacket around her shoulders. “I like how that looks on you.”
Truth be told, she liked it too. Not because of how it looked, but because it smelled like him. The idea that she could wrap herself in his warm, foresty scent was extremely appealing. Matt’s hands trailed down to the jacket’s lapels, and he pulled her close, brushing his lips over hers in a whisper of a kiss. She trembled slightly and pressed her face into his neck, inhaling his Matt-scent.
“Ellie.” His voice was quiet. “If you don’t want to do this, I understand.” He slipped a hand under her chin and tilted her face up to his. Concern furrowed his brow.
“No, I do. I’m just . . . trying to implant this in my memory. You know?”
He nodded, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. “I know.” Sighing, he stepped away from her. “Five minutes.”
“I’ll start my timer.”
