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“Itisrather invigorating,” he agreed with a smile. “To be out of doors with the promise of a coming storm. Shall we?” He held out his arm for her and she took it gratefully.
They took to the walking path. Jane, Helen and Alice falling dutifully behind Charlotte and Sir John in order to give them a discrete opportunity to speak with one another.
“I was pleased to see you at the concert last night,” Charlotte said brightly. “Although I was concerned for your health.”
“I must confess that I was not entirely honest about that when we spoke,” Sir John said, although that was far from what he had planned to say. Whatwasit about this girl that she could pull statements from him despite his best intentions, he wondered helplessly? He felt that he was consistently losing his footing with her, or perhaps he had lost the path altogether.
“Indeed? And honesty is terribly important to me, you know,” Charlotte replied with mock severity. “At least you have the sense to come clean right away, so perhaps I shall forgive you.”
“I certainly hope so. Ihavebeen very concerned regarding my mother’s health and I did of course go to visit her, as I said. But I must admit that other matters have been weighing on my mind heavily and I believe them to be the more primary reason for my haggard state.”
“What other matters?” Charlotte was instantly concerned. What could be worse than the health of his only remaining family, she wondered? She felt an immediate empathy with him. Family was so important. She could not imagine not having siblings and cousins galore.
“I find my thoughts consumed, day and night, with you. I cannot pass an evening without thinking of something I wish to share with you, and nothing that I once cared for seems to hold any importance to me. It is not entirely unpleasant, but it is decidedly unsettling, to say the least,” Sir John declared.
Charlotte listened with a feeling of delight. Not that she wanted Sir John to be uncomfortable in any way, but she was glad that she was in his thoughts.
“How dreadful,” Charlotte said with a shy smile. “Yet, I cannot bring myself to feel too sorry for you, Sir John. I am far too pleased by your confession to grieve overly much for you. What has been your cure for such an affliction in the past?” Charlotte attempted to keep her tone light despite the giddy fluttering of her heart.
“I could not say, my lady, for I have never been so afflicted before. As far as I know, there may be no cure in existence. Though it may be that my suffering could be alleviated, at least slightly.”
“How is that, do you think?”
“I suspect I would feel a bit better if I knew that I was not the only one who felt such torment. Perhaps if I were in the company of a fellow-sufferer?”
“Well, that seems terribly unchivalrous of you,” Charlotte teased, looking up at Sir John from beneath her long lashes. “But I do hate to see anyone suffering, so I must admit that I have been experiencing several of the same… dreadful symptoms.”
He paused in their walk so that he could look her in the eye. Charlotte felt giddy with the passion of that gaze and felt her breath quicken. Words escaped her. She must have given some indication of her distress, because he covered her fingers with his much larger hand and clung to it almost desperately. She looked up at him and shifted slightly. She could feel the near scalding warmth of him next to her and she wanted to melt into him. As she looked at him, her eyes drifted closed as if this could only be happening in a dream.
Her amber eyes had darkened like stars in a midnight sky in broad daylight and she looked at him with such passion that John was undone. Her fingers tightened on his arm and he resisted the need to pull her close. Instead, he only covered her hand with his own. Then her eyes fluttered closed, her lips parted slightly. He gripped her hand as if to hold on to sanity. If he were anywhere but the middle of a park in the middle of the afternoon, he would have kissed her. He would have had no control at all.
Jane’s gentle clearing of her throat behind them reminded him that he had stopped walking and he was simply staring at Charlotte unabashed. His eyes opened wide, and he pulled words from somewhere within his befuddled brain.
“The knowledge that you feel similarlydoesease my distress, most significantly,” Sir John smiled down at Lady Charlotte. He was certain that the smile was like to split his face. In fact, he could not stop smiling. He had once thought that Lady Charlotte’s buoyant, enthusiastic nature might keep her from forming anything deeper than a frivolous sort of affection for him. That shouldn’t have mattered, he told himself. If anything it ought to have eased his conscience, especially in regards to that wretched wager. But he found himself inexpressibly relieved by her words, and more, by the unveiled passion that he saw reflected in her lovely amber eyes.
“Doyou care for me then, Lady Charlotte?” he asked, his voice rather breathless.
“I am terrible at masking my feelings, Sir John,” she replied, a blush rising to her cheeks. “So, I believe you already know the answer to that rather bold question.” Charlotte held her breath wanting to ask another bold question; waiting for the words she most longed to hear. After all, it was the gentleman who should declare his feelings first, not the lady, and he did seem on the verge of declaring.Would he ask for her hand, right here in the park?It was a very public place for such a declaration and yet she wanted him to say the words. She wanted him to confess his love and ask her to marry him, here and now, but he did not speak further. He seemed somewhat tongue-tied.Whatever was the matter?Fear fluttered through her.Had she done something wrong?
“AmItoo bold then? Will you not give me the satisfaction of hearing the words spoken?” She whispered afraid that she indeed had been too bold.
“I have no words,” John said softly, and her brow creased in a sudden frown. Hurt warring with frustration. She wanted him to speak plainly. She needed him to speak plainly. More than anything, she wanted him to profess his love to her.
“None that may describe how I feel. Lady Charlotte, you are unlike any woman I have ever encountered in my entire life,” he declared fervently. “Every time I think I might predict what you will do or say, I find myself completely mistaken. Perhaps that is why I find you so enchanting. You have bewitched me.”
Without consciously realizing it, the pair had slowed their steps and were a good deal further behind Helen and Alice, further even than the more liberal-minded Jane, would have approved. The unexpected solitude in the all-but abandoned park gave every word and look a heightened sense of intimacy that Charlotte found to be delicious. The promise of the storm brewing whirled around them, and Charlotte shivered in the sudden wind.
“Ihave bewitchedyou?” She murmured softly, thinking was Sir John who had woven some sort of spell. She had felt half-crazed these past weeks.
“I can think of no better word for it.” Sir John continued. “Ever since I met you, I have not behaved or even thought like myself. It is alarming, and yet I would never wish to go back. What else might you call such a state but some sort of enchantment?”
“A good many people might call it love. I do suppose,” Charlotte ventured bravely. Her words struck John like a bolt of lightning.
“I suppose they would,” he managed to say, feeling dizzy and disoriented. “It certainly sounds like that phenomenon. Do you believe in love, Lady Charlotte?”
“The first time we spoke, at Almack’s, you asked me if I believed in love-at-first-sight. Now you want to know if I believe in it at all? Do you have some doubt on the matter?”
“Perhaps I do. Or I did. Once,” John said, drawing ever so slightly nearer to her, feeling almost hypnotized by her beauty. He could only dimly recall that first conversation, where he had attempted to present himself as a love-struck romantic. That had been another man, he thought, one whose life was certainly simpler, but infinitely less interesting.
