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“I am sure,” Jane said. “I heard Sir John ask Keegain if he could have a private word as we were leaving the dining room. It seems terribly obvious why he would want to speak privately. You must be excited.”
“Do you truly think Sir John means to ask Ruddy for permission to marry me?” Charlotte asked, flushing with pleasure and nerves in equal measure.
“I certainly do. What else? But what doyoufeel for the gentleman, Charlotte?” Jane asked suddenly serious. “Do you want him to propose?”
“Yes, I – at least, I think so.”
“Well, that hardly clears up the matter,” Jane laughed.
“Idowant him to propose, and I want to accept. I think we could be happy together. I believe he truly loves me, Jane. I do. But...”
“But what?” Jane’s brow furrowed with her frown.
Charlotte shrugged uncomfortably.
“I have to say, from everything I have observed, it seems very obvious that Sir John cares for you a great deal.” Jane said. “You aren’t still doubting your own appeal, surely?”
“No, it isn’t that. I wish I knew what it was. You know, at the very first, I did doubt his sincerity. He seemed rather smooth and practiced, and I thought perhaps he was not to be trusted, but still he made me smile.”
“Do you not believe in his sincerity now?”
“No, I do. I believe that he has been honest and genuine with me since then, especially in confiding…certain things. Ifeelthe truth of his words now. But all the same, there is something beneath the surface; something I cannot see and do not understand. I am sure of it.”
“And you have no idea why you feel this way?” wondered Jane with a frown.
“No, not the slightest, but I cannot shake the feeling, just as I do not doubt that he loves me. It is a very odd combination of emotion, and most perplexing.”
“Most men keep a part of themselves aloof,” Jane said. “As do most women, I think. It takes time to truly know another person.”
“I suppose,” Lady Charlotte said, wholly unsatisfied with the conversation.
“Do you think that perhaps you just feel unsettled due to-”
“Oh, I beg of you, donotmention Lord Marley.” Charlotte protested quickly. “Perhaps his influence is the reason for my upset, but surely that cannot be the explanation for every negative emotion I feel. I will not give the cad such credit.” Truthfully, Charlotte had hardly thought of Marley at all since meeting Sir John. Sir John seemed to take up the whole of her thoughts for most of the day…and the nights.
“No, of course not. I do not mean to doubt your intuition,” Jane agreed. “I am sure there is a good reason for your sentiment. Maybe it would be best if you spoke to Sir John about it directly? Reveal exactly what it is you sense, and what you hope to know.”
“Maybe,” Charlotte considered. “He might not tell me, but I think I would be able to discern if he were evading, and that would tell me something all on its own.”
“If thereissomething wrong, perhaps it isn’t so very terrible after all, and even if he does ask for your hand, you needn’t marry immediately.”
“I am sure you’re right. Why, he could hardly bring himself to tell me about…” Charlotte stopped, shaking her head and Jane looked a question at her silence. Charlotte did not feel comfortable telling Jane the secrets Sir John had shared with her. That would be a poor way to repay his trust.
“Never mind, I do not want to betray his confidence even to you, Jane. Suffice it to say, he made a confession to me which he seemed to think would make me revile him. In reality, I thought it quite trivial.”
“There you are, then.” Jane smiled reassuringly. “Perhaps you were picking up on that very thing; his own apprehension. I believe it to be a most nerve-racking occupation for a gentleman to ask for a lady’s hand in marriage. Do not let it worry you so. Now, I have a very important request.” She leaned close as if to share a secret.
“What is it?” Charlotte asked.
“Promise me that you will be my partner when we play bridge,” Jane said in a hushed voice as if the promise were a matter of some import.
“Of course,” Charlotte laughed.
“I know I can count on you to not take the game so seriously. When I play with my husband, I feel like I have committed murder if I overbid.”
“Ruddy does take his card games rather seriously,” Charlotte laughed, and Jane joined her mirth.
* * *
