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He saw a path forward. It was a narrow path, but it was a path. His heart lie in pieces, but he stood anyway. He was not sure of the way, but he knew he had to take one step more. He had trudged forward in uncertainty before, pulling his mother through her illness. One step more, he told himself then, and every day afterward. One more step, he told himself now.
“I will prove myself worthy,” he said. “To you and to Lady Charlotte.”
“It’s a start,” Keegain said, and immediately doubt crept into John’s thoughts.
“Do you think she will listen?”
Keegain ran a finger around the edge of his glass thoughtfully. “I have learned that very little of what goes on between a man and a woman in love, is understood by anyone other than that man and that woman. So, it is not my opinion that truly matters, and I never presume to know a lady’s mind, especially not my sister’s. That, you will have to find out for yourself.”
Sir John watched the earl in disbelief, as he rose to leave
“Perhaps she will forgive you, or perhaps Charlotte will find another man to mend her heart,” Keegain said. “But I must say that if I were a betting man, my money would be on you. If I may be forgiven the expression.” Keegain smiled, tossed back the last of his brandy, clapped Sir John heartily on the shoulder, and strode out of the room.
* * *
26
Sir John Ashbrooke stared after Lord Keegain. The earl had given him much to consider. Perhaps his instinct to leave London and never bother Lady Charlotte againhadbeen selfish, although it had felt like a supremely noble act of self-sacrifice until Lord Keegain had said otherwise. Sir John wondered uncomfortably if he was perhaps a more selfish person than he had ever considered.
It wasn’t a pleasant thought, but how else could he describe seeking out and pursuing a young lady simply because he had need of her wealth? Indeed, how else could he describe his choice to hide his mother and his heritage so that he might not be inconvenienced by the opinions of others?Had his mother been aware of his reprehensible actions? Was she hurt by them?He claimed to love his mother, but his actions certainly showed otherwise; the same could be said of his actions toward Lady Charlotte.
He had a sudden wish speak to hisMaman. Perhaps she could shed some light on this whole affair. In fact, John felt that a woman’s opinion was exactly what he needed to begin anew.
Sir John set aside his glass of brandy and decided to go for a walk. He needed to think, and perhaps find some repast. Once again ready to face the world, he called for Carlton. Shaved, dressed and feeling far more human, John strolled the city streets. As he walked, the cool air helped to clear his head.
Lady Charlotte had made him realize that he had been wrong about love all along, and now her brother had opened his eyes to the fact that he had been wrong about a great deal more than that. He had been an utter fool. He pondered what he might do to rectify the situation, and no decision in his life had ever seemed so important. For this reason, he was not paying attention to where he was walking and startled when a familiar voice called his name. The accent was decidedly French.
“Congratulations on your impending nuptials,mon Cousin,” Henri Toussaint said.
Sir John did not bother to correct the man. He had no desire to explain his current situation. Instead, he turned, and leveled a gaze at his perspective relative. “Leave me alone,” he said firmly. “If I see you again, I will call the watch.”
“Is that any way to treat your kin?” the man purred.
“Family or no, it is of no consequence. I will have nothing to do with your schemes. I have already warned you not to darken my door again.”
“We are not at your door,” the Frenchman said with a shrug, as he slipped deeper into the shadowed alley. John followed with a sigh. He could not risk this conversation in the middle of the open street. He only hoped to end this matter as quickly as possible.
“I would have preferred, of course, a more pleasant reunion,” Toussaint continued. He waved a hand at the dim alley, “And in better circumstance, but I urge you to rethink your position. It will be much simpler if you decide that you are delighted to have been reunited with your long-lost cousin. Unfurl the flag of your true loyalty after having been forced to hide it for so long and seize this opportunity to do something great for the glory of France.”
“If you are still set upon this course, we have nothing more to say to one another,” John said.
“Oh, I think we do,” Toussaint answered, his expression darkening.
Sir John scoffed. “I am certain itwouldbe much simpler…for you. However, I am not interested in simplifying the life of a spy, I am afraid my position is firm.”
“That is most unfortunate,mon Cousin. By the way, how is my aunt? I do not remember her, of course, but I am sure she will remember me. I have heard tell of her great beauty and vivacious nature. Is she quite well these days?”
“She is,” Ashbrooke replied stiffly, feeling the threat implied by this seemingly innocent inquiry.
“Ah, that is most wonderful to hear. And I am sure that she is over-joyed at the upcoming wedding of her only and beloved son. Of course, you would do anything to ensure her continued good health and happiness, would you not? Her and Lady Charlotte Keening?”
Sir John felt sudden cold rage fill him. “You leave Lady Charlotte and my mother alone and out of your vile schemes, you scoundrel. If you harm them in any way, I will not need to turn you in to the authorities. I will kill you myself.” Ashbrooke snarled, stepping forward and seizing his cousin by the collar.
“Such violence, stodgy British boy,” Toussaint laughed mockingly, remaining perfectly calm despite the fact that his feet were fairly dangling above the cobbles. “I told you that you had the fire of France in your veins, did I not? See how right I was. Does your little heiress know you harbor such rage in you?”
Mention of Lady Charlotte filled John with fear. His hands tightened on the man.What was this little worm planning?“What does she matter?” John said, trying desperately to deflect the man from his interest in Charlotte. John shrugged, in what he hoped was a convincing manner. “One heiress is the same as another as long as her dowry is plump.”
Toussaint shrugged as much as he could, held as he was in Sir John’s grip, but he dropped the subject of Lady Charlotte, and John felt as if he could draw breath again. “Well, if you are so determined to be a proper Englishman,” Toussaint said, “then perhaps you should think as one now. My last mission for the Emperor did not go quite to plan, you see.”
