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“Have you heard nothing I have said, Blakely? I am in love with Lady Charlotte. I could not marry another in her stead. She alone shall hold that place in my heart.”
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37
Lady Charlotte felt tears sliding silently down her cheeks at Sir John’s words, and at the utter sincerity with which he spoke them. He could not know that she was listening, and he had no reason other than honesty that she could see to be so frank and humble before his friends. The thought that he might truly love her and that she had rejected him made her heart twist painfully. She watched as his gentleman friends each reluctantly accepted the banknotes that Sir John pressed upon them. That would not do, she decided, and stepped boldly towards the group.
“A moment, gentlemen,” she called out, not bothering to keep her voice low.
“Lady Charlotte,” Sir John exclaimed surprised. On one hand, she was secretly pleased to see him looking so pale and weary. She would hate to have been the only one who had been suffering these past days. But on the other hand, she wanted to comfort him.
“Sir John,” she acknowledged him with a regal nod. “I could claim that I could not help overhearing this fascinating conversation, but the truth is that I listened in, eavesdropping quite deliberately.
“If we might offer our own most sincere apologies, Lady Charlotte,” Lord Henderson began, stepping forward rather bravely, for she looked extremely fierce just then. “We behaved very badly, I fear, and I for one deeply regret my part in all of this.”
“That is just as well,” Charlotte interrupted him, waving a hand. She continued, not unkindly. “But I did not approach you all for an apology, nor even to scold you for such ungentlemanly and dishonorable behavior. Although, I am certain you all deserve a chiding due to the disreputable proclivities of which you have all proven yourselves capable.”
She realized now, that Sir John had not called because he did not feel worthy of her, and she certainly was no paragon of virtue. It was terribly forward of her, but she could see no other option. “I would have a word, with you, Sir John,” she said, feeling the heat of a blush fill her face as she spoke.
Sir John shuffled nervously at Charlotte’s request. The small group of gentlemen turned to leave, but Lord Weston hesitated.
“Truly Ashbrooke,” Lord Weston said. “We cannot take your money.”
Lord Blakely nodded and put his hand in his pocket to withdraw the note, but Sir John waved him away. “No, keep it. I told you I want nothing to do with tainted gains, and I truly meant what I said.”
“Well,” Charlotte offered. “If you all feel so uncomfortable with the wager, I should think that none of you would wish to keep the money.”
“Then pray, what should we do with it?” Blakely asked, “If Ashbrooke will not take it?”
“Perhaps, you should pay the amount to a charity. My mother and sister, Helen, are quite involved in an endeavor to help the widows and orphans of the war,” she said sweetly. “You should speak with my brother. I am sure he could advise you.”
“Jolly good,” said Henderson slapping Blakely on the back. “That’s a capital idea.”
“We shall speak to the man directly, please excuse us.” Lord Edward said, steering Blakely and the others away and giving Charlotte and John a bit of privacy.
Sir John turned to Charlotte his shoulders set, as if preparing himself for a great blow. “I thank you, Lady Charlotte, for caring enough to intervene on my behalf. I know that I deserve nothing from you, but your hatred and revulsion.”
“Perhaps this is an evening for wrongdoers to receive that which they do not deserve,” Charlotte said seriously, meeting his azure gaze. “Forgiveness, perhaps.”
“Truly? You would forgive me for my very great crimes?” Sir John asked, hardly daring to hope. “I was far too great a fool.”
“My sister says all men are fools. It takes a bigger man to admit his own foolishness.” Charlotte took a breath. “That axiom might be applicable to ladies also,” she said.
“Whatever do you mean? It is I who am to blame. For everything. I was utterly mistaken in my evaluation of the intellect and capabilities of women,” he said quickly. “I knew that quite some time ago, and if I was still wanting proof of the fact, I would only need to see you before me. Lady Charlotte you are the keenest intellect of my acquaintance.”
“I am not sure that is great praise,” Charlotte replied archly, glancing back at his friends, as the group of young men made their way across the room.
“You’re the bravest too. And a damnable good shot,” Sir John added.
Charlotte blushed.
John cleared his throat awkwardly, unsure what more to say. They stood in relative solitude. Lady Charlotte regarded him critically. Her amber gaze was as entrancing now as the night they had first met. Perhaps, moreso because he now felt he knew the woman behind that fiery stare. She was so beautiful. To have beauty, bravery and intelligence all in one was more than any man should have. It was more than John deserved and yet he wanted her still. He wanted her for his wife. He burned for her. She was the most exquisite woman he had ever known. When he looked at her, he saw only Charlotte herself and she was perfection.
“May I ask you to dance?” John asked. “I know you love dancing and I do not believe you have had very much enjoyment the past few days,” he said, his voice catching a bit in his throat. “If I am to make any attempt at amends, I believe I should begin making up for your unhappiness post haste.”
“I have been most miserable,” Charlotte said. “I could not even pretend enthusiasm for dancing tonight, and I cursed your name for ruining the pastime for me. All I could think about was the first ball when we met and I thought I should never be so happy again.”
“I do apologize, Lady Charlotte, most sincerely. Although, I can hardly dare to hope that you might forgive me,” Sir John said, rather breathlessly. There was nothing smooth or calculated in his sincerity now, Charlotte thought, his words tumbled over themselves in a rush. “I will never, not if I live a thousand years, forgive myself for causing you pain, first for the wager, and then…” He swallowed painfully. “You could have been killed.”
