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We didn’t speak as I led him back to my shared apartment, changed and laced up my runners. Not even as we walked back down through the halls and out to the back gardens toward the trailhead at the back of campus, our shoes scuffing along tile and stone and eventually grass.
A little tremor of unease skated down my back, remembering the ominous messages from my would-be stalker still taking up space on my phone’s hard drive. I hadn’t run this path in weeks, but now, with Grey to accompany me, I supposed it was safer.
Perks.
I stuffed my earbuds in my ears just as he opened his mouth to say something. I pointed at them with a false apology curling my lips into a frown. “Sorry. Can’t hear you,” I told him as I hit play and broke into a jog, the crisp air in the shade of the matured trees already working small miracles on my nerves.
He kept pace easier than I thought he would in those boots. Laced up tight like he wore them now, I supposed they weren’t completely useless.
I kept my eyes ahead after that, trying my best to ignore the fact that he was there as I let the exertion, the wind, and the smells of the forest swallow me up.
The sounds of Lola Blanc’s Angry Too blared in my ears, distracting enough to keep my mind from wandering to bleaker territory again.
A smile curled my lips when I remembered that at any minute, Rook and Corvus could be noticing their missing door handles. I held onto that little joyous tidbit, letting it propel me onward. I thought for sure they’d have gotten a notification from the camera when I left earlier. Actually, they might’ve. It was probably why they came looking for me, but they didn’t know that the pillowcase slung over my shoulder contained nearly every door handle in their entire house.
“AJ,” Grey said some time later, his voice barely audible above the song in my ears.
Maybe if I didn’t answer him he would shut up and stop ruining this for me. He better not be tired already. I was nowhere near finished.
“AJ!”
Fuck.
Moment ruined.
I stopped, tearing an earbud from my ear, heaving as sweat trickled down my back. “What?”
“Look, can we just…” Grey trailed off, a bit breathless, his dark green t-shirt stained darker from sweat around the neckline. His face pinched.
“Who is that?” he asked, gesturing to the earbud pinched between my fingers and the sounds of Primal Ethos’Anthem of the Brokenblaring through it.
I rolled my eyes.Of coursehe wouldn’t know who Primal Ethos is. He probably only listened to top 40 songs and whatever was playing on Virgin radio like his vapid bitch of an ex-girlfriend or ex-fuckbuddy or whatever she was.
My stomach soured, and I cursed myself for the wave of jealousy that sank deep into the marrow of my bones.
“You wouldn’t know it,” I barked, sniffling as I caught my breath, bouncing on foot to foot so I wouldn’t ruin my runner’s high. “That would require you to have actual taste in music.”
His eyes widened, lips parting on a reply that he didn’t bother speaking.
“What do you want, Winters?” I asked after another beat of silence. “You’re kind of ruining my high right now.”
He jerked his head back toward the path. “Come on, we can talk and jog.”
I growled, pissed that he fucked with my high, but was happy to start moving again at least. Grudgingly, I popped out my other earbud and tucked both of them into the pocket of my running shorts.
“I wanted to apologize,” he said, head bent to the earth, his jaw taut.
This surprised me enough that my own jaw clenched in response. I didn’t want to hear this. I didn’t want an apology. I wanted my goddamned freedom back.
If I didn’t hold onto my anger, I would have nothing left to shield me, and I was going to need one heck of a shield for what was to come.
“For what?” I demanded. “For taking my freedom? For trying to own me? For locking me in that——”
“For all of it,” he interrupted, his brows drawing together as he looked up at me.
I looked away. “You’re not sorry,” I muttered. “Your ‘apology’ isn’t for me. It’s for you. To assuage your guilt. Own your shit, Grey.”
“That’s not—”
