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“Oh.”
I realized I was about to worry a hole through the hem of my shirt and made myself stop, stuffing my hands into my pockets instead.
“Are you having negative thoughts, or—”
“No, it’s not that. It’s…”
Jesus fuck, just spit it out.
“Can sedatives cause hallucinations?”
Her face pinched in confused worry. “Perhaps some very specific types, and only in large doses, though it’s not common.”
I nodded, more to myself than to her, ready to admit to myself what I feared since the first time I heard the whispers in my head.I’m crazy.
The hallucinations seemed to be petering off since the guys found me, but maybe that was just because I was under less stress. Maybe all the drugs Drake pumped into my system unlocked something that’d just been waiting to be set free and there was nothing I could do to lock it back up.
I’d always felt like there was something separate to myself deep down. The darkness. A mirror self. A broken part of me that hungered for violence, thrived off bloodshed, lusted for pain.
Hearing voices shouldn’t have been a stretch.
“So then I’m fucking crazy.”
As if on cue, Grey’s voice whispered from beside me, as if he was standing right there. “All the best people are.”
My heart began to pound in my chest. A bubble of manic laughter only to be choked off in my throat. This wasn’t a laughing matter.
I was broken in more ways than one now. Not just physically, but mentally, too.
How could they want me now?
“Ava Jade, are you suffering from hallucinations?”
I blinked, peering from the corner of my eye to see if this hallucination was auditory only or if I was going to be graced with another full blown spectral vision of one of my guys.
The area to my right was empty, and I sighed. I hadn’t seen them like that, as a hallucination, since the forest.
That was something at least.
“Hmmm?”
I couldn’t remember what she’d just asked me for all the thoughts racing in my head.
“Are the hallucinations visual?”
I moistened my dry lips. “Not always. Mostly, it’s just hearing things.”
She nodded, flipping a couple pages in the file. “The doctor should have spoken to you about the possible side-effects.”
“Side-effects?”
“Of the Haldol in your system. Ah, here it is.” She passed me a sheet of paper covered in a graph with numbers and short name code I didn’t understand.
“What am I looking at?”
“You see this, here,” she pointed to a particularly high spike on the chart. “That’s the level of Haldol that was in your system when you arrived at the hospital. And this here, that’s the amount of Klonopin. That’s ketamine. Not to mention a veritable cocktail of other narcotics of the legal and illegal variety.”
“What does this mean?”
