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But, I didn’t want to breathe.
Not when she’d never share the same air.
I choked out a hard sob that felt like throwing up part of my soul, the heave of my body knocking loose the grenade from my torn pocket. It rolled over the floor, coming to a stop directly beneath my face.
It was the solution.
I let out a broken breath and reached for it, its ribbed surface fitting into my hand as if it was made just for me. Like she was.
…was.
“Again!” Corvus screamed, his voice breaking.
I lifted my head to say my goodbye. “I’m sorry, Ghost. I told you… I can’t do it without you anymore.”
“Rook!”
I looked to my younger brother, all the blood drained from his face as his sights fixed what was in my hand. “Rook, don’t!”
I stood, shaking my head. “It was always going to end like this for me, Brother. I should’ve died a long time ago.”
Corvus realized what was happening and dropped my gun. “Keep trying!” he shouted at the vet, lifting his hands to me as he advanced on me. “Rook, put it down, man. Don’tfuckingdo this right now.”
“Tell me you don’t want to join me, Brother.”
His lips parted, and I saw the truth in his eyes. He was willing to die for her once. What happened when your reason for living was no longer living herself?
I used his moment of inner reflection against him, taking the opportunity to pull the pin before I could lose my nerve.
“No!”
It dangled on my index finger, and I lifted the grenade high in my right hand, holding the lever down as I raced back down the corridor to the entrance twenty meters away. I was going down, but I would make damn sure I didn’t take them with me. Their lives. Their choice.
“Tell Diesel this is what I wanted. No mourning. No fucking funeral. Bury me with her.”
I let go of the lever and closed my eyes.
“Fucking Christ!”
The grenade was wrenched from my fist and Diesel slammed into my back, knocking me to the ground. He landed on top of me, his body forming around mine as the grenade exploded somewhere outside the cellar, deafening in its volume, shaking the fucking walls.
Concrete dust rained down around us, and I shoved Diesel off me, gripping him by his shirt. “Why the fuck did you do that?”
“Rook—”
“I wanted to end it!”
“Rook—”
“You don’t get to take that from me.”
“Rook,” Diesel screamed, spittle flying into my face as he backhanded me, making the taste of copper explode on my tongue. “Look!”
A wet cough burrowed into my ears, and I couldn’t move fast enough, shoving Diesel away, racing back down the hall.
My Ghost blinked up at the ceiling through blood and tears, choking, her lips blue.
I fell at her side, taking her cold hand into mine. “Ghost! Ghost, look at me!”
