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“I love you too, Brax.”
“So it’s Brax now?” he asked, with a sweet smile. “And your words are music to my ears, baby. Please don’t shut down on me and let’s talk. Tell me why you said what you did earlier. I want to know, and before you keep worrying that bottom lip of yours, even though it’s adorable, no, it’s not gonna change how I feel. I will keep saying that until you believe me. Can you do that for me? Will you tell me about your childhood, and what happened? Why do you think you can’t have the babies that I know you probably desperately want?” He took a deep breath and laughed a little. “Shit, sorry that was a lot of questions, but it all just came rushing out.”
I was doing my best not to cry again, but he was so damn sweet,andhe loved me. Yeah, yeah, I know I’ve said that many times, but I couldn’t help it.That made me want to shed happy tears. I needed to find the strength to tell him about everything, but I also wanted to know more about him too. Alley probably told him some stuff when we were kids and when he was gone, but all three of us girls were firm believers that some things were only ours to tell. So, it was time I spilled my guts but wanted the same in return.
“I will, but will you tell me more about your childhood too? Alley of course told me stuff and how she felt, but I want to hear how it made you feel. Also, I want to know about your time in the service and why you bought such a big house when you're the only one in it? Just as you want to know more about me, I want the same from you too.”
Braxton nodded at me before he said, “I will for sure try. I’m not used to talking about myself much, Jurnee, but I will do anything I can to move forward with you and make you happy”
I rolled off the top of him, missing the heat and connection right away. Twisting my body, I laid to face him, legs out to the side and my head resting on his stomach. Then, looking up into those mesmerizing eyes of his, I started to speak.
“At five, my birth mom left me in the hospital all alone, fighting cancer. I had leukemia. The pain, being so sick, and scared out of my mind, was unbearable. Some people would have thought that at that age, I wouldn’t remember in detail all the things I did. But I remember it as if it happened yesterday, even though I wish every day that I could forget.”
Braxton’s body reacted to my words, but not in a bad way. It was more a protective way. He was listening, trying not to interrupt, but also trying to lend me support to carry on. So I did.
“I thought I was going to die. A five-year-old doesn’t really understand what everything means, but you learn pretty quickly. I understood the treatments made me sick, but I had no choice but to take them if I wanted to survive. What throwing up all the time did to a little body like mine, and I knew that the nurses were there to help and although some were nice, they still weren't my family. I understood that the hospital was where I stayed for some time, but it wasn't home. Being in agony was a daily event for me, and I’d learned that some mothers leave, even when their kids needed them the most and were scared shitless. And that not being on this earth seemed to get closer each day.”
Braxton squeezed my hand in support, and it kept me grounded so I was able to carry on.
“One day, my treatments were finally finished and I’d managed to go into remission, which after having cancer is where I will always be. Unless it comes back, which is a fear I live with every day, but I do my best not to let the fear rule my life.”
But sometimes my best is not good enough.
It wasn’t easy to tell this story and spill all the horrid details of my early life, that I’d worked so hard to shut out. But to build something with Braxton, we both needed to bare our souls, and the truth needed to be set free.
“So, I left the hospital one day, but without my mom or any other family. No belongings, but the clothes on my back. I left with a stranger, who in return left me at the foster home I lived at until I was twelve. You could say I was lucky that I got to stay in one place the whole time and wasn’t bounced around from home to home like some of the other kids there had been. And don’t get me wrong, I was grateful they took care of us there, in whatever way they could. But they didn’t love us.”
Braxton rubbed my back gently as I kept talking. Different expressions crossed his face as I went. But he didn’t interrupt and just listened.
“I yearned for that love until the day that my parents, the ones you know, came and took me away. Even though I was happy for myself, I had been so scared to leave Gemma behind because she was a lot younger than the rest of us.” Tears slid down my face as the memory pinched my heart. “I’d taken care of her but then I was leaving her just like my mom had left me, and it shattered my heart. But I wanted a family so badly and I did my best to see her and be there for her always. I thank the heavens above that she didn’t hold it against me and that we are still close.” My mouth tipped up in a small smile, knowing this to be true.
“My parents are amazing, even if they were a little older by the time they decided to adopt, after not being able to have children of their own. But it was an adjustment, even if I had hoped for it for so long. I was also terrified of going to a new school, and not knowing anyone.”
“Which brings me to the first day I saw Alley, Summer, and you.”
“Me?” he asked, pointing at his chest with his free hand.
“Yeah, you three changed my world and I will never forget that moment.”
“I don’t know how I did that,” he replied “I understand the girls, but I’m just Alley's brother. But keep going, I want to hear about all of it.”
I was doing my best to try and explain my feelings, but getting to this next part while looking at Braxton could’ve ended up being embarrassing. Though I was holding nothing back, telling him about how he made me feel back then wasn’t easy.Here goes nothing...
“The first time I saw all three of you my parents had brought me to the school to get registered. I had just gotten out of the car, scared to even be there. New school, it was later in the year, and I didn’t know anyone, plus the fact that you already know I’m a bit shy and quiet. But then I saw you drive in and you had brought Alley and Summer with you. The girls looked straight at me and something inside me settled.”
I paused. “Well, that’s not completely true.”
“It’s not?” Braxton asked, looking confused.
“Umm, it is, and it isn’t. When I looked at Alley and Summer, everything settled, but when I looked at you my heart did funny things in my chest and a feeling I didn’t understand claimed my whole body. Later, it became very apparent that I had the biggest crush on you—and it never went away.”
Shit, cue another pee session.
I didn’t know what Braxton would say and I didn't have time to go running for the bathroom, because when I looked at him, the gigantic smile on his face warmed my insides. “What are you smiling like that for?”
“Alley mentioned something about a crush at the bar that first night, and I didn’t know if it was true. But hearing it from you is confirmation, and I have to say, Dimples, I’m glad you’re obviously still crushing on me.”
The nerve of this guy.“Don’t be so smug, mister. I can take it all back, you know.”
