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What was I thinking? She was married. Had a baby on the way with another man. A man that hurt his wife and didn’t care about her or his child. Teal was running, she said so herself. My temper flared at the thought, and my fist clenched, itching to pound her soon-to-be ex-husband in the face. She needed him out of her life for good so she could move forward without looking over her shoulder all the time.
Trust didn’t come easy and I had just started gaining hers before I ripped away everything I had started building with her. And while I thought I left to put some distance between myself and her, what I found was a new mission. I was going to help her be free of the monster whom she feared. I also needed to prove she could believe in me again.
That wasifshe would accept my apology.
* * *
If I wanted in,I’d have to knock.
It was Wednesday evening and I was standing outside Teal’s door with a bag in hand filled with a couple of pints of ice cream, a gift bag filled with something I’d found for her while away and in my other hand a huge bouquet of wildflowers. All things that wouldn’t make up for what I’d done but God I was hoping it helped pave the way.
I knew she was home. Alley had texted me when she dropped her off and let me know. That was right after she had laid into me and let me know I was a total idiot. Then proceeded to tell me not to think flowers were going to work and I was going to need a hell of a lot more than that when I showed up to beg for forgiveness.
So I came armed with more than just flowers.
I’d hoped at least that would get me in the door.
Raising my hand to finally get the courage up to knock, it struck me that it might startle her. Maneuvering things around in my hands, I pulled my phone from my pocket and fired off a text to tell her I was outside and asked if I could talk to her.
I was met with silence.
Unsure if she was ignoring me or busy and hadn’t heard her phone, I tried sending another. A minute later a tingle of awareness trickled through my body as I sensed her close. She may have not opened the door but she was just on the other side of it. No doubt debating whether to let me in.
Could I blame her?
“Come on, Teal. Open the door, please,” I said loudly enough she could hear me but hoping others in the building couldn’t.
The sound of the locks being disengaged was music to my ears and relief washed through me. But when the door slowly swung open and I saw Teal's sad, red-rimmed eyes, my heart broke.
Had I done that?
The need to move and fold her up in my arms while I told her I was sorry a million times over was so great I almost did just that. But she had boundaries to start with and right then any of those walls I broke down just a smudge were built back up again and standing tall. Her eyes and body language told me her guard was up.
That shit was on me.
“I messed up, I know that, Teal.” A deep sigh escaped me. I was disgusted with how I had handled things but all I could give her was the truth and hope for a second chance. “You and the baby started to become so important to me and with Bridgette just showing up here, digging up old wounds, I guess I just…” I shook my head. I probably was fucking this up. Another sigh escaped me and I tried again. “When I touched your stomach and felt your child move, I freaked out.”
I watched as her beautiful eyes changed and shimmered with empathy at my words. But as the next ones left my mouth, she gasped and tears trickled down her cheeks.
“I didn’t want to lose you both and yet I know neither of you is mine to lose.”
When I meant to give her the truth I didn’t know I would tell her exactly what I had realized while I was away. It was too much for her I was sure. We were friends or at least had been on our way tobecomingfriends before I messed up, but my feelings were evolving into more. Something I knew she couldn’t allow herself to feel right then.
“At least let me prove to you that I can be the friend you deserve and a good man.” With a pleading tone, I searched her gaze.
And saw acceptance.
She moved back a little and pulled the door wider, breaking the barrier that had been between us. Allowing me in was just the first step. It was time to keep proving I could be what she needed.
I moved past her and she shut the door. She still hadn’t said a word and that was killing me. Not sure what I expected after what I’d done but I needed to hear her sweet voice. Setting the stuff on the table, I turned with just the flowers left in my hand and offered them to her.
It had been as if she hadn’t even noticed them at the door, just caught up on her sadness, because her eyes went wide with surprise.
“These reminded me of you. Beautiful and wild like these flowers. You are the perfect mix of sweet, passionate, pretty, mysterious, strong, caring, fragile, unique, and even damaged a little by what life throws at you.”
Her eyes turned to slits when I said damaged, and I knew I needed to elaborate quickly before I got thrown out.
“We’re all damaged, sweetheart. If you look at every one of your friends you have now, including me, you can see that. But it’s not defining you and that is what makes you strong.”
