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I don’t knowwhat I was thinking.
How in the world was I going to get a job without disclosing my name, showing my ID, and having a permanent address? I needed one desperately so I could get a place of my own. My child didn’t deserve to grow up sleeping out of motels.
I lucked out when I got to the bus station. Thinking back on that, I realized there just might be some decent people in the world because I couldn’t afford to show my ID there either. I hadn’t even known where I was headed, just that it needed to be far. But when I had walked up to get a ticket, with no destination in mind, and the lady at the counter asked where to and for my ID, I panicked.
As my breathing became rapid at the thought I wasn’t going to get away and that at any second the monster would find me, I bent over trying to catch my breath. When I stood back up, the hood on my jacket that was up, helping to hide the side of my face fell off. I stood frozen as the woman's eyes in front of me widened. First, she took in the bruises, and then her gaze lowered to my stomach.
Looking away from me she started typing, her hands flying over the keys, and then she was slipping a ticket toward me. “Have a safe trip,” she said, with a small smile and a slight nod of her head. “Take care of yourself.”
I told her a heartfelt thank you, grabbed the ticket like a lifeline, and rushed off. As I made my way toward the bus, I glanced down at the paper in my hand and saw the random name she made. I would forever be grateful for that kind woman. I just hoped that if Thad questioned everyone there that she wouldn’t cave under his intimidation and tell him anything.
I started thinking about the cross-country trip and how scared I was when the door to the office opened behind me once again. Quickly turning around, I saw Braxton entering the room. And although I was beyond grateful for what Braxton had to say, a part of me was disappointed it wasn’t Kace that had come back to talk to me.
They said enough for me to know they knew something wasn’t right, but they were not questioning it. Instead, they agreed to give me the job under the table so I could make some money and get my feet on the ground. I wouldn’t be able to do that forever but I was taking it one day at a time. I was just a few months from having my baby and I had to get out of a motel before that somehow.
I didn’t know what I did to deserve the kindness of these strangers, but I thanked the heavens I’d found my way to them.
“Thank you so much,” I told the man seated across the desk from me. Why when I first met him he made me so nervous I didn’t know. But after talking to him a few times, and seeing him with his wife, sister, friends, and kids, I sensed he may be a kind soul.
Even then I knew I had to keep my guard up and trust in only myself.
“You're welcome,” Braxton said. “This is a safe place and we are all here for you. You can trust us, even if that takes you time to figure out.”
What was it about these guys and reading my mind? Kace had just said basically the same thing. One day I could only hope, but today wasn’t that day.
I fidgeted in my seat, unsure how to respond and he must have caught on to my discomfort and moved on.
“Can you start on Monday at eight in the morning? Gemma has some time to come in and show you around. After that, we will all be here to help you.”
It was Friday and I had the weekend to get my bearings about being around new people. Or anyone for that matter. Thad had worked hard to keep me away from most everyone unless I was with him for a work matter. I had no friends, no family, and spent most of my time stuck in our home except to go to the store.
That was about to change, and even though I was nervous, a little piece of me couldn’t help but be excited. There was nobody to control my every move.
I was in charge of myself.
“Sounds perfect. I'll be here.”
Then panic set in when I realized I hadn’t asked about what I should wear. I came with very little in my bag and although I could pick up a few things, I couldn’t afford much yet.
“W-what should I wear?” I nervously stammered out.
“I am sure anything you have will be fine. Although you will be upfront when people come in, we are very casual around here and like to be comfortable,” he told me, with a small reassuring smile on his face.
“Okay. As soon as I can I will get some better things.”
That is what happened when people made you feel at ease. I laid a few cards on the table and gave up some info I didn’t mean to indulge. Pinching my lips together so I wouldn’t say anything else, I carried on to change the subject quickly.
“Is there anything I should bring with me?”
Braxton rose from his chair and started around the desk. “Just yourself is wonderful. We will see you Monday. Be careful driving back to your place in the rain.”
And once again I started spewing out words I needed to have kept to myself. “Oh, I take the bus.”
Shikes, I need to get a hold of my runaway mouth!
A frown etched across Braxton’s face before he could mask it. Then cooling his features he just said, “Let me give you the number here at the office and mine as well in case anything comes up or you need anything.”
