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“Well I promised Luke I would watch out for Brinley and Zander so you are going to have to talk about it,” he fired back sternly.
My stomach bottomed out and I felt sick hearing that Luke had to ask Gyth to watch over Brin and Zander. He’d asked me multiple times to come see Zander when he was first born, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it.
As much as I wanted them to be happy, I knew seeing the life and family they built together with my own eyes might just kill me. I’d made up excuses as I always did, well aware that my best friend was not buying them, but he let it slide like he’d had all our lives.
But he’d figured out he couldn’t count on me. Especially for something as important as taking care of his family.
Gyth must have seen something in my expression because his demeanor changed and I found myself standing in front of the flip side of the angry bear. The guy who cared and would do anything to help a friend. That was when I’d spilled my guts to him right there out on his front lawn.
When I got done, we both stood there in silence for a bit. I mean I had word-vomited all over the place, which wasn’t like me at all. I never talked about my past, my feelings, or admitted to the things I just had.
I could see wheels turning as Gyth took in everything I had laid before him. He was assessing thoroughly–it was his nature–to determine the best course of action.
Me, well I had been standing there wishing I could take it all back. My heart felt ripped to shreds while my body vibrated with nervous energy and my mind was telling me to run. Get as far away as I could so I didn’t have to think about everything that was wrong with my life, including what I had lost, and the things I never could have.
I couldn’t believe I told him the story about how I lost my sister and how it had been my fault. I didn’t talk about her and I hadn’t told anyone about how she died since I was a teenager. But as I went on it was clear how my silence had shaped my life. Then I spoke of Luke and Brinley, my two friends who were always there for me, but I could never manage to do the same for them.
“That is some big stuff, man. I knew you were dealing with some heavy shit, but I didn’t know it amounted to all that.” Gyth let out a high-pitched, drawn-out whistle before going on. “I’m so sorry about you sister. I’m not going to sit and tell you to stop blaming yourself because I know that saying the words doesn’t make it happen. Every time I think of the day Luke died I have to fight down some of the blame I feel.”
Gyth looked stricken with grief and it messed with my head. I knew the day was coming when I would have him tell me exactly what happened, but right then I wasn’t ready and I told him so. He hadn’t pushed and said to let him know whenever I was. I got the feeling it would be just as hard on him to recount that grave situation in detail.
“Luke told me about his best friend he’d grown up with and would tell stories of the two of you, but he never said your name. He always called you Casanova.” Gyth let out a chuckle at the same time I groaned. “He’d told me you were quite the ladies’ man and all the girls flocked to you so he had deemed you with that nickname, but you despised it. Because, while they may adore you and fall at your feet, you didn’t care or partake in all that was offered.” Gyth looked at me strangely with a gleam in his eye as if a lightbulb had just gone off in his head. “Maybe the women in the backyard were on to something,” he mumbled.
“What?” I asked him, confused.
“Oh nothing,” he said and then carried on. “Anyway, without him using your name, when Braxton brought you onboard withNo Surrenderand us not knowing Luke was the friend you lost, I had no way of knowing you two knew each other and had been that close.”
I was surprised Luke had even mentioned me after what a shit friend I had been for so many years once we had both left home and joined the military. While he’d joined the Marines, I had joined the Army and that took us in two different directions. But I was the one who’d put an even bigger gap in our friendship when I just let myself drift further away from him and Brinley.
And I regretted so many of my decisions.
It was too late to change things for Luke and me which would forever eat at my soul, but Brinley was here, and seeing her made me think maybe I needed to pull my head out of my ass and make amends with her. Besides she needed help, and while she came looking for Gyth and I knew the big guy would want to do what he could, I wanted to be there for her and Zander too.
But would she let me?
The thought of Zander brought a pang to my chest. My friends had a child and the little guy didn’t have a clue who I was. That was another thought for another day though because right then I could only handle so much and I realized Gyth was staring at me expectantly.
“Did I miss something?” I asked him.
“I asked you if we were going to have problems if Summer and I helped those two in there?” He pointed toward his house. “Because I don’t plan on breaking my promise to Luke.”
How could I be mad that Brinley and Zander would get Gyth’s help and with that would get a whole group of truly wonderful people? Something told me that was exactly what they needed. But I still was fighting down the urge to try and stake a claim where it didn’t belong and I hadn’t earned in doing so. I shoved down my feelings and answered him.
“No, no problem. You are a far better man than I have been over the years and they could use all of you.” As the words left my mouth, guilt plagued me again for the distance I had put between me and the only true friends I had growing up.
Because that was all I had allowed.
Though over the last few months, the guys, their women and even the kids had put a small stamp on my life in a way nobody had since I met Luke and then Brinley bounced into ours in high school. So while I was standing there thinking I left a little bit out of the things I had told Gyth, I couldn’t bring myself to do it for fear they would think I was a total shit and not want me around.
“Rowan, man, I am sure she could use you too. You’re part of our group and you are part of her past, so let's all help them, yeah?”
Just as I was about to answer, I heard the screen door shut and turned at the sound. Summer was walking toward us. I glanced at Gyth and saw his facial expression change the moment his eyes landed on his wife.
And I was jealous.
What they had, and the other guys I worked with too, was something to envy. Their relationships were right out of a romance novel. They were so on point and amazing. In fact, Alley wrote the smutty books herself from what I had heard. I wouldn’t be surprised if she got phenomenal material for her stories from the world and the lives of her friends around her.
Summer walked right up to Gyth and plastered herself against his side. He hugged her close to him and she smiled up at her husband before looking back at me. It was like looking at Beauty and the Beast. They seemed to have a fairytale life too.
