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Lauren shifted, angling her body towards him so she didn’t have to crane her neck. She kicked a decorative pillow off the sofa, and her leg ended up resting against his. He didn’t move away. Neither did she. She cocked an eyebrow as he looked at her and a smile formed on his lips.
“What are you grinning about?”
“Remember our first kiss?”
“Of course.” Her answer was immediate. “We went to the movies, what was it—man, I don’t even remember the movie. I do remember how nervous I was when you held my hand.” She paused, smiling as she stared into space.
After the movie, they’d had about half an hour before Danny’s father was due to pick them up. She and Danny had wandered to a spot by the food court, near the fountain, where a smattering of fake trees and bushes were supposed to make it feel like a garden. At that hour, all the food kiosks were closed. They’d found a little space near imitation birch trees that afforded a little privacy.
“I remember some awkward small talk.”
Danny sighed. “I was so desperate to kiss you, but too chicken-shit.”
“And I couldn’t take the pressure.”
Lauren remembered standing there, looking at Danny for what seemed to be forever. She’d looked down, screwing up her courage and when she looked up again, she rose up on her toes and kissed him on the lips. It was fast, barely a touch, and they both drew back slightly. His hand had felt very warm when she threaded her fingers through his and whispered, “We can do that again if you want.”
The second kiss wasn’t nearly as awkward.
“Lauren?” Danny tapped her knee. “You in there?”
She jumped. “Sorry,” she said, flustered. She rubbed the back of her neck. “Got distracted.”
ChapterTwenty
Lauren wasn’t unhappy that Danny had shown up. Unexpected company had never bothered her much. But she was surprised. When they exchanged numbers at Dom’s, she’d thought they’d get together for coffee. Maybe a dinner. She had to admit, him coming over to hang out had crossed her mind, but she’d dismissed the idea, thinking it was too much to ask for. Now that he was here, she couldn’t imagine a more perfect evening. It was almost like they’d never been apart, and all the memories and the laughter gave her a giddy high.
At one point she nearly asked Danny what he remembered about their first time together, but stopped, fearing that would cross an unspoken line. Instead, she leaned toward the table and flipped a few more pages in the yearbook. In front of them was a full color spread of prom pictures. Theirs was in the corner of the right-hand page. Danny was dressed in a classic black tux. Lauren’s hair was done up. She wore a dark blue gown with a with a modest neckline and a skirt made of a shiny, iridescent material. Even back then she’d loved clothes with some sparkle, and she remembered how the skirt had swirled when they danced. She had a corsage on her wrist, and they stood in front of the traditional backdrop, smiling and happy.
“You know, we clean up pretty darn good,” she said. “I loved that dress, and man, you were hot in that tux!”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Definitely hot.”
Memories crowded around them: the anticipation of going, intimate slow dancing, the argument that almost ruined the night, the after-party … and after the after-party. Prom wasn’t the first time they’d had sex, but they’d made it an exceptional night. Lauren closed the yearbook.
“Did you really come here tonight to look at old pictures?” Lauren wasn’t sure what she wanted him to say. Part of her hoped the answer was as simple as that, but another part of her knew it was much more complicated.
Danny leaned back on the sofa, his shoulders tight, a shadow across his face. “I’ve just been thinking about you a lot lately. First when Cole said she was doing that paper, and then after that TV thing…” He hesitated, then plunged ahead. “I realized that there was a lot of stuff I didn’t face after we broke up. I guess I buried it all and just tried to forget—but now that you’re back? It’s all coming back, too.” He chugged the last of his beer. “The things I said. I didn’t mean—”
“—We both said some things, Danny.”
“I called you reckless.”
“And I called you a coward. We were dumb kids, Danny. Dumb kids who said stupid shit.”
“If you get right down to it, I was afraid you hated me.”
“Hated you?” The word startled Lauren.
“For not going with you. That I didn’t fight harder for us…” His voice trailed away, and he turned his face towards the window.
“Jesus, Danny. No, I didn’t hate you back then. I don’t hate you now. Angry? Yeah, I was angry when we broke up. I was sad, too, but I didn’t fight for it either. We both wanted different things—and youknowwhat would’ve happened if one of us had given up what we wanted to be with the other.”
“Wedon’tknow.” His voice turned stubborn.
“Don’t bullshit me,” Lauren said. “Yes, we do. You wanted to be a cop—and not just any cop, you wanted to be NYPD like your uncle. You talked about being a cop like him the same way I talked about being in a band.”
