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“Apologize. For hurting you. Breaking your heart. Dude’s been on my shit list for the past eighteen years.” Augie spun one of his drumsticks through his fingers.
“Augie. Don’t.”
“I’m just sayin’.”
Lauren could feel the frown pinching the corners of her mouth. Dannyhadbroken her heart, and even though they’d talked around it the other night, she still remembered. And the memory still stung…
Lauren strolled out of St. Catherine’s, uncowed by the detention she’d just served for asking Sister Angelica if she regretted never having sex. The class loved it; Sister Angelica had not. But in a matter of weeks, Lauren knew she’d be free—and headed for the West Coast.
She switched her backpack from one shoulder to the other. There were still plenty of students around, all finishing whatever after-school sport or club they were in. Augie waved to her, and not far from him, she saw Danny waiting for her. Her happiness dampened when she saw the pissed look on his face. He’d been like that all week, and she was sick of trying to guess why.
“Hey, D.” She hooked two fingers into his belt.
“You’re going to go, aren’t you?” His voice was gruff and angry. She withdrew her hand and took a step back.
“You mean to LA?” His silence was the confirmation she needed. “You know I’m going, Danny.”
“But what about us? You’re okay just leaving us, leaving me here?”
Lauren felt her face heat. They’d gone over this, and rehashing it again wasn’t going to change anything. “I don’t want to leave you here.” She hated the quiver in her voice. It made her feel weak. “Come with me, Danny. We’ll go to LA together.”
“Leave New York? My family? I can’t.”
“What’s stopping you?”
She watched Danny struggle, trying—and failing—to find the right words. Her lips pressed together. Why was he acting so hurt? It wasn’t like her plan to move to California was new. She’d been talking about this, planning this, since freshman year.
“You’re taking a huge chance. Jesus, Lauren, you don’t know what kind of trouble you’ll find out there!”
“No, I don’t. But I’ll deal with it, whatever it is. You think if I stay here, behind your white picket fence, I’ll be safe? What kind of macho bullshit is that?” Lauren ground her teeth. She couldn’t understand why Danny had suddenly become so opposed to her going. He knew how important this was to her.
Danny started to wave his hands as he talked, and the volume of his voice teetered on the edge of shouting. “You think you’re going to take off for LA and everything will just work out. That’s reckless! And stupid. What happens when things turn into a shit-show? When everything falls apart?”
Lauren was stunned. How could he say that to her? She had never—ever—been that angry with someone, and she went back at him, ferocious. “When I fail? You think I’m going to be a failure? You’re an asshole. How can you even say that to me? So, all the times you told me how great my singing was, my songwriting? Those were all lies? Just to make me feel better?”
“That’s not what I meant—”
“You know, I wouldn’t be alone in LA if you came with me. But you won’t because you’re too scared… gotta be a good little boy because Mommy doesn’t want you to go. Coward.”
Danny sputtered when she threw that back in his face. “You’re so fucking selfish, Lauren. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You don’t give a crap about me. About your friends. Your family.”
“That’s not tr—”
“—Never mind. Just forget it. Go live your life. Just don’t think there’s going to be someone here to catch you when you come running back home. We’re done.” Danny grabbed his own backpack.
“Done? You’re breaking up with me?”
“I guess I am. Why would I stay with someone who doesn’t love me?”
Didn’t love him? The tears burned as they sprang into Lauren’s eyes. How could he say that to her? How could he even think that?
“Danny!”
He left her standing on the sidewalk.
The sting of the memory still sharp, Lauren moved the conversation along. “We caught up. I told him about life with the band, he told me about life as a cop. That’s about it. It was a nice evening hanging out with an old friend.”
Lauren ended her comments there. That kiss—the kiss she’d been thinking about all day—was nothing more than a fluke. A momentary lapse of judgment. At least that’s what she kept telling herself. And she didn’t feel like sharing any of that with her cousin. Augie worried too much, and she didn’t want him asking a lot of questions. Especially when she didn’t have any good answers.
